This just in! Do you see what is sitting in back of us in this picture? That's right baby: its the Golden Gate Bridge!!! I was so excited to get this last family picture for December. What a year 2010 has been! This excercise in family portraits has been such a rewarding activity for me. I can not tell you how gleeful I am at taking 12 family portraits for each month of this year. A part of me is really shocked I followed through and did it. I am totally going to try to make a go of this again in 2011.
We just got home tonight from "The Great California Mission Adventure." If I can find the time, Im going to write about it tomorrow and include some pictures from our trip. Right now, however, I need a shower and a glass of wine (maybe two.) In addition to San Francisco, the Four McGarveys and my parents visited Sonoma, Morro Bay, Santa Barbara and a little town up north called Cloverdale. We did our traveling over the past few days by car. It may sound kind of crazy being kooked up in a car for that long, but we made some great memories. More later.
Better late than never.... Here is our September family portrait. Its taken me a while to post it because I didnt have it on my computer. I had to track it down. Before the Paweleks left for Madison this past September, Miranda's fiance Chris took a bunch of pictures of the family. He took this one of the four of us.
For years now, Finn has asked to have a birthday sleepover. This request began early - like in the 1st grade. When he was younger, I didnt think it was age appropriate. I imagined boys getting scared in the middle of the night and parents being hesitant about leaving their young sons. Finn never gave up hope, though. Every year he asked to have a sleepover, and every year I made excuses why it wouldn't work. On December 5th 2010, Finn turned 10 years old. It was a big birthday milestone and for the first time a birthday sleepover seemed appropriate. The time was right.
On the second Friday of December, seven boys stayed the night for Finn's birthday. Matt and I have hosted sleepovers before, but never at our house. This was our first time and we were understandably nervous. You see, we have a very small house. Logistically, we realized this sleepover would be tricky. The number of kids had to be limited because we could only fit so many kids in our house at one time. Once we figured out where the kids could sleep, the rest of the plans fell easily into place. Pizza was ordered. Rootbeer, grape, and orange soda filled the fridge. Snacks were limited to popcorn, fruit by the foot, tangerines and sugar cookies. The kids we invited were either children of good friends or boys from school that were also in Finn's cub scout troop. Since Matt is the cub scout leader, we anticipated correctly that the parents would feel comfortable with their sons spending the night. An added bonus was that Matt and I personally knew each of the boys well. There were no surprises with the guest list. The party was loud and the noise didnt really subside until well after midnight, but that was our only discomfort. Nothing was broken - not any kids nor any home items. Only one drink was spilled and it was done on the floor by Finn . The boys played videogames, had nerf wars and conducted bey blade tournaments throughout the night. The last kid fell asleep at around 1:30am and after several nighttime checks, I fell asleep an hour or so later. I gotta admit, I loved the entire experience. In fact, I felt like I was on a bit of a high the next morning after I was sure things turned out fine. We will definitely do this again, and maybe not even wait for a birthday to accompany it.
The best thing: Finn was in hog heaven. He was so damn happy - it was impossible for him to hide it. There is no doubt he will remember this birthday for the rest of his life. That makes me super happy.
On Friday November 19th Matt, the boys and I went downtown to our local movie theater and watched a 10:15am showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. It was a long time coming. The anticipation leading up this this day was intense. Not since Star Wars Episode 3 have we collectively and as a family anticipated a movie like we did this one. The kids didnt go to school that day. I kept them home so we could skip the crowds and watch the movie together. They looked so adorable in their Hogwarts uniforms. I was really kicking myself for not buying my own tie and cloak at the Halloween store when they were 50% off. Matt also played hookey from work. To be honest, he wasnt as into the festivities as the boys and I were, but I think he got caught up in the excitement anyway. Matt is the only one in our family who has not read the Harry Potter books. I havent given up hope on him, though. Heck... if I can get Seamus to read all 7 books Matt should be a breeze. I just havent focused on him yet. Was the movie good? Heck yes it was! I was captivated the entire time. Its a BIG SCREEN type of movie - very cinematic. True to the book it had a different feel to it than the previous movies. There wasnt as much action and it had a much slower pace than its predecessors. At one point during the film, I looked over at the boys and wondered how they were liking it. They seemed into it, but I wanst sure. There is no Hogwarts in this film. I knew they liked the magical school and daydreamed about being a student there. There were no professors or students. There was no tension or intrigue between Harry and Snape. In fact, there was little interaction other than between Harry, Ron and Hermione. After the movie, I asked how they liked it and thankfully, they gushed. The four of us are hoping to go see it in the theater again. Now the hard part comes - the wait for the last movie. Its going to be released July 2011 and in an odd way, Im grateful for the next 8 months. That last movie coming out is going to be very bittersweet.
I am a cold blooded person and Im not talking metaphorically. I literally feel cold a lot. Summertime is the only time of the year where I feel warm. I have had numerous tests taken at my doctor's and we think it might be due to low blood pressure. We're not sure though. Once it starts getting cold outside, I freeze in my own body. It is not uncommon for me to be seen INSIDE my house with a hat and/or a scarf on. And listen... I live in Southern California. Relatively, it doesnt get cold here. I cant imagine how frigid I would feel in places like Chicago or Buffalo or Ottawa.
Now that the weather is getting colder, I wanted to share some handmade etsy images that have caught my eye. Seeing these items makes me yearn to learn how to knit and crochet. How cool would it be to give gifts each Christmas that I have made? Dama Shan could get a blue scarf. Barry could get a navy and red scarf. Abbey could get a pink one. That would be super cool! My mom can knit and my grandma can crochet, so its kind of in my genes. ha ha I actually have a hook and yarn here in my house at this very moment. Im feeling very inspired right now. Too bad I have so much other stuff to do. from Dendritic Headwear. from Lainedesign from Adornada. from Pixiebelle from Babes In a Blanket from Piquinina from Lucky In Love Designs. from One Of Everything. I have a hat similar to the one above but its lavender instead of blue and green. My Grandma Nena made it for me, like, 10 years ago. I wear it every single year. Doesnt it totally look like something your grandma would make. I (((heart))) it. Happy Wednesday.
Back in early October my sisters in law, Kris and Karen, came out to visit us here in California. They were only here for a weekend, but boy was it great having them around. On an overcast Saturday we ventured off to Cabrillo National Park for a small hike and some sight seeing. This was the second time Matt, the boys and I had visited Cabrillo this year and once again, we missed the appropriate time to visit the tide pools. Apparently the tide pools are a winter exhibit. In October we were able to stick our fingers in a few anemones, but Id love to take the boys down there during low tide. I am going to make it a point to check back at Cabrillo this winter. I love me some good tide pools and Ive heard the ones at Cabrillo are the best. While we were at Cabrillo, Kris snapped a shot of the four McGarveys for our October family portrait. It was a good day.
I know I missed posting October and September. I have no excuse. It just didnt happen. I actually have them, I just havent posted them yet. Maybe I will do it right after this post Here is November's. My sister Jennifer took it on Thanksgiving.
Happy Friday... oh crap. Its only Thursday! Damn this week has been long. Happy Thursday.
The following pictures are from the front of the food line at my family's Thanksgiving feast. My camera is not taking the best pictures lately, but I situated myself in the kitchen were there was plenty of light. These were the pictures I got.
Thanksgiving this year seemed quieter than normal. Im not sure why, but it was nice. We got together at my Auntie Lucy's house for our regular Thanksgiving meal and I think there were maybe 30 of us. Even though my aunts and mom shoulder most of the heavy cooking, the rest of us chip in with the sides for this gigantic feast. Each year I bring cranberry sauce. Im not sure how I got this dish, but it is my responsibility. Matt makes noodles which is a dish that his mother makes at holiday meals. Noodles are now part of our Thanksgiving meal too. My cousin Nicole has perfected the veggies side dishes. This year in addition to string beans and brussel sprouts (yum!) she made some carrots that were super yummy. My Auntie Mel makes a wonderful jello/blueberry/whip cream concoction that I love. But my most favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal is, and always has been, the stuffing. Usually my Grandma Nena makes an oyster stuffing, but this yearmy Auntie Lucy made this delish version with cranberries and sausage. OMG... just thinking of it makes my mouth water. It was sooooooo good!
Except for the "food cam" I didnt get many pictures this year. However, Miranda's fiance Chris got this great one of the family. Its a little pixely because I took it off facebook. I want this one framed.
I sat down tonight to write a post about the Harry Potter movie, but I had some Beatles songs playing on itunes and couldnt concentrate. You see, Im one of those people who cant write if there is music on. I get too distracted. Usually its the music that grabs my attention. A good beat will get me tapping my toes every single time. Sometimes, the words will grab me. Actually... no. That pretty much never happens. Its always the music.
Instead of fighting it I decided to take this opportunity to list my current top 10 (or more) favorite Beatles songs. It should be noted that my favorite songs vary over time. Some songs always make list (I'll designate those with an asterisks) and others come and go with my age, experiences and mood.
Ive been listening to the following playlist for a few days now and Ive noticed some common threads. - I like later Beatles, post 1965. The early stuff doesnt do much for me. - Favorite singer/writer of the four: Paul McCartney. Not that I didnt know that already. It was just reinforced by my favorite songs. Second? George Harrison. I miss that guy's voice and unassuming talent. - The slower and sadder the song, the more I like it. Strange. - Most of my favorite Beatles songs are favorites because I respond to them on an emotional level. My favorites tend to remind me of someone or something in the past. The music is important, but mostly its about how the music makes me feel.
Here it goes and in no particular order.
*1. I Am The Walrus. This song is a sentimental favorite. When I was a kid, my dad would play and sing lots of Beatles songs to my sister, my mom and me. This song, however, is the one that reminds me the most of my father and of my childhood. When I had my sons, I was quick to introduce them to this song. In my life, it seemed impossible that they could have a fantastic childhood without knowing it, singing it, and dancing to it. I am happy to report that they can sing it word for word. Success!
2. For You Blue. This song is a recent favorite. I love the music - that Americana sound and the slide guitar. I heard that George Harrison wrote this song for his first wife Patti. She is like the "ultra muse" for all my favorite artists. George allegedly wrote "Something" about her and Eric Clapton (whom I LOVE) wrote Layla and Wonderful Tonight about her. Damn that Patti!
*3. Blackbird.
*4. She's Leaving Home. This was my favorite songs when I was a young girl. The instrumentation in the beginning with the harp, violins and cello is so sad and mournful. Ive always gravitated towards sorrowful, languid songs and this one felt so thick with regret. When I was young, it was easy for me to identify with the protagonist - the girl. I imagined myself leaving home and my parents being devastated and wishing they had treated me better. haha. This year when my sister and her family moved to Wisconsin, the song came back into popularity with me. I tortured myself by listening to this song over and over and over again during the week she left. Currently "She's Leaving Home" has been played 77 times in my itunes library - the most of any Beatles song.
*5. Eleanor Rigby. Just like the song above, its the strings in this song that make it a perineal favorite. I cant seem to drag myself away from those gorgeous violins and cellos. I never understood the lyrics of this song. I cant imagine them actually making sense of something. Random side note: I remember when I was very young (like maybe 2nd or 3rd grade) my best friend Linnea had this song on a single. I didnt realize that other kids my age listened to the Beatles so I took it as a sign that Linnea and I were destined to be friends.
6. While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Ive always loved The White Album so this song has always been on my radar. That being said, it didnt become a favorite of mine until my college years. For some reason, I never realized Eric Clapton played guitar on the original recording with the Beatles. When I first heard the story I about fell out of my chair. I dont know how that fact escaped me for so long, but once I knew about it the song breathed new life for me. I love how the guitar cries and whines inbetween the vocals. I always figured it was George, but gosh... it was EC! It makes me so happy that these two friends (Eric and George) have their lifelong friendship immortalized in collaborations like this song. I must admit that when I heard the version of this song played at A Concert For George, I liked it much better than the original. Maybe its more poignant to me because that version was recorded as a memorial to George once he had passed. I find the video incredibly moving on so many levels. George was gone and his friends and family got together to celebrate his life and play his music. Dhani, George's son, played guitar next to EC and the reamining Beatles on this iconic song. Its crazy powerful and a definite favorite.
7. When Im Sixty Four. I have grown up hearing my dad mockingly sing this song to my mom about 100 times. He likes to exaggerate while he sings and my mom likes to act irritated by his antics. My parents are sooooo different so when I was younger I actually wondered "would she still feed him when he's sixty four?" My dad turned 64 a few years ago and guess what? She still feeds him. :)
8. Here Comes The Sun. I cant hear this song without thinking of my niece, Abbey. She was named after the Beatles album Abbey Road and for weeks before her birth I listened to the 17 song album over and over and over. In my opinion, its one of the best Beatles albums ever. Once Abbey was born "Here Comes the Sun" stood out to me as her song. Abbey is my parents' first grandaughter. After three, active grandsons my mother didnt hide her excitement about having a girl to coddle and spoil. I figured Abbey would be a baby just like the rest of them, but from the very beginning her foreign yet charming ways were obvious to all who encountered her. It was more than her pink clothing and girl themed accessories that captivated and mesmorized us. When Abbey was born, she brought a totally different awareness to our family - an undeniably female spark that was missing before her birth. Our lives have never been the same.
*9.Two of Us. When I hear this song Im flooded with hundreds of childhood memories of me and my sister, Jennifer. The two of us. Both of us swimming in the pool. Both of us playing girls softball. Both of us washing dishes after dinner. Both of us wearing matching outfits. Both of us listening to our dad's records. Both of us sharing a room. Both of us walking home from school. Both of us getting similar Christmas presents. Both of us taking baths. The two of us. When Paul sings "You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out of here," I think of us because its true. When I had my two boys born so closely together, I thought they would also be like the two of us. They arent of course, but it didnt stop me from dressing them up in raincoats and taking pictures of them in the sun just like this song. I did... oh yes I did. The boys were probably 6 and 8 years old and that photo is one of my most favorite of them in the world. I still hold out hope that, in my lifetime, I can have one shot of me and Jennifer with raincoats too.
*10. A Day In the Life.
*11. Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End. When Matt was in Iraq in 2003, we made him a video and sent it over to him for Fathers Day. My mom shot various footage of the boys and me and she set it to music I had chosen. It is impossible for me to listen to these three songs without seeing the images of that video in my head. Recently Matt, the boys and I sat down together and watched that video. Matt and I were crying our eyes out. I dont know what it is, but something magical happens when images are set with music. Sublime magic.
12. Real Love. This song was recorded by The Beatles in 1996. I think the reason I like it is because it was created after John's death and with the help of Yoko Ono. Apparently John had some demos that were never recorded for an album and Yoko gave a couple to Paul for a new Beatles song. Can you actually imagine the good will it must have taken for Yoko and Paul to get together and make this happen? Its a miracle. I love the video of this song too: the old footage spliced with the video of the guys making the song. Its touching to see George, Paul and Ringo get together with the tapes of their lost friend to create one last song. Here's the video:
13. Till There Was You - I typically dont like early Beatles songs, but when I heard this song a few years back it took on new meaning for me. When I was younger, I thought this song was simplistic and sappy, but then I met Matt and the meaning of the song changed. I was amazed and how well it captured how falling in love feels. My favorite line is "There was love all around, but i never heard it singing. No, I never heard it at all, till there was you."
14. Hello, Goodbye. When I lived in Mexico, my room had a tv with two channels. Every single morning, one of those channels played the same music videos in the exact same order. "Hello Goodbye" was one of those videos. In the video, the fab four are performing on a stage. Towards the end a bunch of barely dressed, large breasted women pop onto the stage and dance along with the Beatles. I always got such delight watching Paul, George, Ringo and John watch those beautiful ladies dancing beside them. John appeared especially captivated by the lady nearest to him. I started off many a morning with that video. Lucky me. I found the video:
15. Let It Be.
*16. Get Back. Three words: "Get back, JoJo." hee
It took me more than a week to write this post. I must be the slowest blogger on the face of the planet. Sorry about that. Happy Saturday.
Halloween this year was all about Harry Potter! There has been only one other year that we have "theme dressed" as a family and it was the year we all donned Lord of the Rings costumes. This year, I got my wish and the four of us dressed as Harry Potter characters. Seamus was Harry Potter (of course,) Finn was Seamus Finnegan (a Gryffindor student,) Matt was a dementor and I was Professor Severus Snape. The boys have been so into the books this year and we are so excited to see the last film coming out later this month. It seemed fitting that we celebrate this holiday in Harry Potter style. I only got one picture of the four of us that wasnt blurry and yucky. Thanks to Miranda for getting this shot. Matt was quite terrifying in that get up. We got lots of freaky looks from other cars while driving to my cousin's house to meet up with family. Fortunately, Matt didnt scare any kids while trick or treating. The Steelers were playing the Saints on Halloween night and I absolved Matt from having to choose between trick or treating with his kids or watching his beloved Steelers. After a quick group photo, we raided my cousin's neighborhood of its sweets. We stayed out a little longer than normal this year and as a result, raked in tons of candy. We had plans to meet up with other friends for more Halloween revelry, but didnt make it. The football game was intense and Matt wasnt doing particularly well with how it was playing out. Usually, Matt will only watch Steeler games in his house with other Steeler fans, but this year he had no choice but to begin watching the game with other family members. Im not sure this was working for him so as soon as there was a lull in the game, we jetted back to our house so that Matt could finish watching in the comfort of his own home. I was soooo glad we got home during the fourth quarter because when the Steelers lost 20-10, Matt did not hide his frustration. It was not a pretty sight and I was thankful no one else was around to see his outburst.
On a lighter note, I loved the boys costumes so much this year. They looked so freaking cute! We stopped at the store to pick up some candy before heading over to my cousins house and so many people recognized them with their ties and cloaks. We are definitely dressing up for the The Deathly Hallows, Part 1 movie on November 17th. Happy Monday!
For the first year ever, Seamus and Finn carved their pumpkins without any help from me. They didnt even ask for it. I bought the pumpkins, set out some knives and watched them go to work. I wasnt expecting them to not need me. It came as a surprise. Usually they will want me to help draw stuff on their pumpkins or carve out something that is particularly hard for them to manage. This year I felt like a fly on the wall. It was like I wasnt even there; not needed in the least. At first, my impulse was to ask them if they needed help -a passive aggressive way of thrusting myself into the action. But then I thought better. I opted to sit down on the steps and enjoy their independence. It didnt feel natural at all and it wasnt easy for me either. I had to make myself sit there - watching without being involved.
I must say, though, their pumpkins turned out really special this year. Very unique - different than in years past. Their own personalities really seemed to shine though in their design, which was cool.
Can you guess what is in this little yellow box? Its a tooth. It might not look like a tooth with those long roots, but trust me. Its a tooth. Guess who's mouth it came from? Give up? It came from my sweet, little Finner.
Here's the story.
Tuesday night, Finn told me his tooth was hurting. I know first hand the pain that comes with having a cavity and hoped it wasnt anything major. Finn wasnt crying or going on and on about it, so I gave him some tylenol and he went to bed without incident. At about 1:30 am Wednesday morning, Finn woke up. His tooth hurt. Ruh-roh. I gave him more tylenol, slipped into bed next to him and prayed it would be better in the morning.
It wasnt.
When Finn woke at 6am, any hope that the pain had dissipated was gone. Finn was cupping his cheek and bordering on tears. "Mama, it still hurts. Mama why is it still hurting?" I didnt have any answers for him. Unlike me, Seamus was ready to fill Finn's head with all kinds of horrors. Finn's filling could have fallen out. He might need a root canal for a bad cavity. He could have an abscessed tooth and need oral surgery. None of this helped Finn's nerves or mine. My youngest son is quick to panic and with a brother like Seamus, who can blame him? Although I tried to calm Finn down, no amount of "you can do it" pep talks were going to get him to school - not on this day. Finn had to get into the dentist asap and I was the person who was gonna make it happen.
An important side note: I am irrationally afraid of the dentist. When I get work done, I have to be drugged. My fear is that bad. When the kids have cleanings and/or cavities to be filled, Matt takes off work to go with them, not me. I do all the doctor visits. I do the ER and Urgent Care and lab appointments. I do not do the dentist. I cant. Today, that would change.
A second important side note: Wednesday morning marked our third day without Matt at home. He had been in Virginia with the USMC all week and was not due back until Thursday. He was thousands of miles away. I could not expect him to help. I was on my own. OMG!
Im ashamed to admit it, but the thought of making Finn wait until Thursday entered my mind more than once. In my opinion, his toothache couldnt have happened at a worse time. Between Matt being gone and Wednesday being the one day of the week that I work consistently, his timing was bad. All that withstanding, I couldnt add to his pain. Finn had to be seen by a dentist so I psyched myself out, put my big girl pants on and got him into Dr. Englert's office for his 10:30 appointment. The prognosis was not good: Finn had an infection in his tooth root and unfortunately his roots are like mine - long and deep. After careful consideration, we opted to extract his tooth rather than put Finn through a root canal. The tooth was a baby tooth. It would grow back. Finn will have to wear a retainer/spacer so that his adjacent tooth wont grow forward into the empty space, but Im ok with that. I told Dr. Englert to go for it and he began working on Finn with diligence and care. Nitrus was used, but just to take the edge off. We were in the office for about an hour and a half and Finn did great! He didnt even realize what had happened until I told him upon completion. Im not joking! Dr. Englert pulled the tooth out of his mouth and Finn didnt have a clue. Now that is a good dentist!
Im happy to report I did pretty good too. I didnt freak out. I didnt have to take a xanax. I didnt show any distress, fear or worry in front of Finn. In the hour or so before Finn's appointment, I convinced myself that this appointment was no differnet than a doctor visit. I could do this! I had to do this. There was no choice. When Finn was finished he went out to the reception room to pick out a prize. Quickly, I turned to the hygentist and said "I pulled it off, right? Didnt I? Could you tell Im a total freak? Did I do ok?" The lady looked at me with surprise and said "You did great, Mom."
I did great and so did Finn. Cross your fingers his healing goes well.
Finn does not like to wear shoes. In a perfect world, he'd be barefoot all day. He has gotten some pretty gnarly cuts, splinters and gashes on his feet because he wont wear shoes outside. It can often be a problem, but Finn doesnt complain or whine about his wounds. His mama normally ends up finding out about his injuries because she sees them while he's in the bathtub.
When Finn must wear shoes, he will often put them on his feet without socks. In the morning when he is getting dressed for school, his mama has to say "Finn, put on your shoes WITH socks." If she doesnt, Finn will wear his shoes to school without socks. When Finn doesnt wear socks with his shoes, the shoes he wears get really stinky. That grosses out his mama. Finn has two pair of shoes - one blue pair and one brown. Neither one has shoelaces. The blue pair has velcro and the brown pair is a slip on shoe.
Finn's idea footwear: flip flops. He takes after his mama. Finn has several pairs of flip flops - more pairs than he has shoes. This weekend when it was raining, Finn wore his flip flops exclusively. Since he wasnt playing outside, his mama didnt fight him on it. She picks her battles. Finn refers to his flip flops as "my flips." His mama thinks that's cute.
1. We were productive all Sunday and got lots of little things done around the house and yard. Grocery shopping - check. Lawn mowed - check. Big school project completed - check.
2. Matt and I got solo time with the kids. I know it sounds elementary, but we dont usually pair off with each kid individually. Its either all four of us doing stuff together or Matt or I alone with both boys. Making time to hang out and focus on one child always leaves me feeling very contented as a parent. Its a wonder Matt and I dont do it more often.
3. On Saturday morning, Finn and Matt hiked over 5 miles with Finn's cub scout troop. Finn does not normally enjoy exerting himself on long, hot hikes but Matt said he had a fantastic time. He didnt complain and was able to spend time with his school friends Timmy and Philip.
4. While Matt and Finn hiked, Seamus and I patrolled the neighborhood for garage sales. I do not enjoy garage sales, but Seamus LOVES to find cool, unique nick knacks at low prices. Normally we like to go antiquing together, but on Saturday morning we hit up a few local yard sales instead. Seamus bought an old replica radio for $15 and has been listening to 103.7 every night.
5.Seamus' soccer team won their game on Saturday afternoon. Dama and Papa came out to watch at the new sports park.
6. Finn got a playdate at our house with his good friends James, Jeremy, Ryan and Eric. He was in heaven. When Tina and Kim came by to pick up the kids, we adults spent an hour or so drinking margaritas while the kids played. Now that is how to spend an afternoon.
Today Matt was home from work. USMC gets Columbus Day off so I skipped my normal volunteer hours at St. Francis and spent he day with him. We went to the movies and saw "Let Me In." It was surprisingly good; scary, but good.
I hope Tuesday is as good as the past several days have been.
Yesterday I was listening to a Paul McCartney song called "No More Lonely Nights." Its not a critically acclaimed, awe inspiring song but I love it. I always have. Yesterday while I was listening to it I honed in on the lyrics below:
"May I never miss the thrill of being near you."
I have listened to that song dozens and dozens of times, but I dont think I have ever heard those words before. I tend to key in on the music of any given song - not the lyrics. Naturally, those words made me think of Matt. We've been married 13 years and been together 15. Matt has been such a blessing in my life. I, honest to God, hope I never miss the thrill of being near him either.
For a 9 year old, Finn's vocabulary is substantial. He loves to read and Im guessing his love for books has played a major role in him understanding and employing a large vocabulary. However, one of the cutest things about Finn's manner of speech is that he often makes words up so that they sounds bigger or more impressive. He does this so frequently that I have begun to write the words down . Here are three examples I heard this past week .
1. Constantaneously. I believe Finn uses this word when "constantly" doesnt adequately describe the large degree of frequency being exhibited. Example: I am constantaneously cleaning up after two little boys.
2. Quicklier. Another way to say quickly, but with more emphasis. Example: Seamus runs quicklier than many boys his age.
3. Elastical. Most of the time when Finn uses an inventive word in conversation, I dont bring attention to it. But when he said "elastical" recently, I asked him what he meant. He looked at me in all seriousness and said "Mama, elastical isnt normal stretchy like a rubber band. Elastical means real stretchy - like gum or goopy snot."
Ive been going through some tough stuff lately and didnt feel like posting. I think its just normal "life" stuff, but its gotten the best of me this month. I recently saw a facebook status update from a friend and she wrote "Wake me up when September ends." I could not agree more with those Greenday lyrics. Today is the last day in September. I suppose its time to "wake up."
On this unusually stormy day, I said goodbye to my sister Jennifer and her family. For the majority of our lives we have lived either in the same city or adjacent cities. Since Jennifer had her first child 6 years ago, we have lived in the same neighborhood. Tomorrow Jen, Barry, Eli and Abbey are leaving on a plane and moving to Madison, Wisconsin. Their house is up for sale; their possessions have been shipped. My gut says they will not return to live in Southern California again. I will no longer be a daily part of my niece and nephew's life. I will no longer be a part of my sister's daily life. This reality has been a huge, dark cloud hanging over my head for weeks.
Today I am heartbroken.
Ive been stoically keeping it together for the past several days. I didnt want to upset anyone - namely Jennifer. When the family has been together (which has been every day this week) Ive been distant in an effort to keep myself from sobbing. Once alone, I break down. This has been my routine for at least a month. I cant talk about what's happening to anyone without bursting into tears. This impulse has proven problematic and embarrassing for me. In a sick way, it actually feels satisfying that this day is finally here. Now I dont have to anticipate it anymore. Now it is real. That being said, I still hate this and wish it wasnt happening.
Jennifer told me recently that our family isnt as close as we may think but I think she is dead wrong. I dont know if she said this because she really believed it or if she was trying to distance herself from us in order to make this separation easier for her. This is a fact: we are close. She and I have always been close and so have our children. I have hundreds of pictures documenting our closeness. Here are a few:
A note to my sister: We are close so dont kid yourself. Our lives have been inter-mingled since the day you were born in September 1972. They will continue to be blended for a long time. I guess we've just had it easy the past several years. It seems crazy that Im only realizing that tonight.
