Thanksgiving 2009

My family spends our Thanksgiving at my Auntie Lucy's house here in Vista. Throughout my life we've spent Thanksgiving in different places, but when my grandparents moved down here in the 1990s, we began spending Thanksgiving here in town. My Grandma Nena along with my mother's sisters and their families usually attend. We all help out with the menu so my Auntie doesnt have to shoulder the demands of the entire meal.

This year Mom and Dad spent Thanksgiving in Paris. This is the second time they have fled to France to spend Thanksgiving abroad. I believe it has to do with plane flights and prices this time of year, but you never know. ha ha Just kidding. ;)I dont take offense to them leaving, actually. The first time they left in 1997 was surprising, but I honestly think its cool that they want to spend time alone discovering new places. Im happy that they have taken the time to travel now that my sisters and I are older. Its a nice thought for me. Also absent this year was my sister, Miranda. She is in love for the first time and spent Thanksgiving with her boyfriend's family.

Because my parents and Miranda were not able to spend Thanksgiving with us this year, I figured Id post a few pictures and add a little dialogue for their benenfit.

This first shot is of my Uncle Bruce, his son/my cousin Phil, his daughter/my cousin Erin and my Auntie Lucy serving them. Uncle Bruce is married to my Auntie Mel and the four of them (Phil and Erin too) drove down together for the holiday. Unfortunately, they got stuck in 3 hours worth of traffic. Egads! I felt bad for them, but Erin said they played games in the car to kill the time. Im really glad they came. It was great to see both of them. I got to spend some solo time talking to my Uncle Bruce this holiday. We sat out back after dinner and I talked his ear off about my kids. It was pretty cool for me. Ive never talked to him alone like that before.

Look at Finn working the fork and the knife. That's my boy! Goooo Finner!

On the left are our Lawson cousins: Gavin and Hayley. They are my cousin Bri's kids. I couldnt get over Gavin's hair when I first saw him. It was so long! He looked like a different kid! On the right is one of the two Noivo cousins: Gabby. Nicole had both her daughters dressed in identical pink dresses with big pink bows. They looked adorable as always.

Here is one of two adult tables. The Paweleks, Uncle Joe, Joe Jr, Matt and I were at another table. Tradition allows the kids their own table. There were lots of jokes about how the kids are beginning to outgrow the adults.

On the left is Matt serving himself food. Because there are usually a lot of us, we all pitch in and bring something for the Thanksgiving meal. Auntie Mel made her fabulous jello salad. I had 3 servings of it - I love it! Matt made his family's traditional noodles. All of them were eaten - we brought none home with us. Nicole made the greenbeans an Brussels sprouts. I made the cranberries and since Dad wasnt there to eat them, Matt did this year. He said they werent bad. However, the hit for this year's meal was what Jennifer made: Paula Dean's cornbread stuffing. Everyone agreed it was fantastico! I think Jennifer is going to be forced to bring it to Thanksgiving for now on. On the right is Finn at the kids table. They get to drink Sparkling apple cider at the kid's table. This year Auntie bought sparkling strawberry and blueberry cider too.

My parents grandchildren: Eli, Finn, Seamus and Abbey.

And here are all the cousins. I love taking these kinds of pictures. Seeing all the young kids together like this reminds me of when I was a kid. I had so many cousins growing up. We always saw each other for the holidays. I have so many wonderful memories of growing up along side them and I feel grateful that my own kids can do the same.
'
What else is there to update you guys on. Auntie Lucy got teary giving the blessing and all the kids said "Bless us Oh Lord" together. It was adorable. Erin just finished her UC applications and said she was applying to all the schools except UCSB or UCSD. WTF??? I sense there is a story there but I didnt ask. I'll have to dig deeper later. Bri told us she and Brian are splitting up but that it is being done very amicably. Thats good; she seems really good. Auntie Mel gave us her tips on not getting H1N1 this season. Not touching doorknobs seems to be her secret. Everyone was good. :)

Wished you were there - all of you.

Incidently, Matt got online today and was looking at pictures of his family this Thanksgiving. They were mostly all in Texas and Matt got very sentimental seeing Sam (our niece) and the family china. Thanks for posting those pictures, Kris. One of these days we will all have to meet up for a Thanksgiving to remember. :)

Happy Sunday. :)

Finn's Bonfire/Slumber Beach Party

Finn is such a quiet trooper. This fall he went to all of Seamus' soccer games, except one. He got up at 5:45 to drive out to Chula Vista for an early game. He went to the Lake Elsinore and Murietta games. Heck, he even did a couple all day tournaments. Yes... he complained a bit, but wouldnt you? Instead of spending Saturday and Sunday playing with his friends or doing something he wanted to do, he was dragged along with us to support his brother playing soccer. Im confident Seamus would not have done the same for him- at least not without many arguments and tantrums.

Because of his selfless and resilient nature, Matt and I decided to have a bonfire/slumber party just for Finn. We rented a cottage at the beach and planned an impromptu get together with him and his friends in mind. Four of his classmates from St. Francis came to the bonfire as did his best friends the Huelsman and Hilder boys. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. The boys ran around on the beach until way past sundown. Finn and the Huelsman brothers stayed up till almost 11pm and slept together on air mattresses in the front room of the cottage. Unfortuantely, I was so busy keeping an eye on everyone and everything that I didnt get many pictures. That really bums me out. The photos I did take (and honestly there are less than 12) are all blurry because it was near nightfall and my camera doenst take good photos in low light. However, I did get a few shots of the boys this morning. I was just leaving the parking lot after turning in the keys to the cottage when I thought "Dude... I am going to get a couple pictures, even if they're not of the actual bonfire or slumber party. "

I think Finn and the boys had a good time. I know I did.

Call me crazy, but I cant wait to do something like this again. Matt is probably shaking his head thinking Im nuts, but I dont care. I thoroughly enjoyed playing host to Finn and his friends for the day. It wasnt easy and it wasnt cheap, but for me it was absolutely worth it.

Happy Wednesday.

The Giving Tree

When we bought our house 10 years ago, one of the biggest draws for me was the huge liquid amber tree in the front yard. It stood high and regal, like a beacon calling me home. You see, when I was young I used to draw pictures of generic houses. Dont all girls do that? My houses were usually yellow or blue. Most had a chimney and all had a big, looming tree in the front yard. In 1999, when I saw our house for the first time, the liquid amber acted like an X marks the spot. I hadnt even been inside the house before I told Matt "This is it." I was home.

Here in San Diego, you dont see a lot of deciduous trees, but our liquid amber drops its leaves every year. Its somewhat unique in my town of mostly palms, eucalyptus and other evergreen trees. Usually our tree lets down its leaves in January or even February. But in the past couple weeks, the weather has turned cold and the tree's leaves have begun to drift down from its branches. Its a welcome surprise. My large front yard is littered with crunchy, brown and yellow leaves.

Yesterday the boys and I set out to gather the leaves up. We dusted off the rakes and made large piles in the yard. It was fun to do this together - working side by side in the beautiful November weather. The boys didnt complain and my heart felt full. Im thankful.



Happy Tuesday. :)

Lego Magic!

A few weeks ago the LEGO Christmas catalog came in the mail. Its not a thick catalog, but those 40 pages of LEGO happiness have brought out the enthusiast in my sons. Seamus and Finn are LEGO fanatics and checking out the new and exclusive collections has them absolutely giddy with joy. Finn in particular is smitten. For several days in a row, I found the catalog with him in bed. Apparently he would look through the catalog at night and write notes of his favorites for potential Christmas/birthday gifts.

note: his list has changed and been amended about three times since this list was written.

The catalog has likewise clocked in some miles in the minivan. For several days it was located in the back seats among the stale french fries and forgotten happy meal toys. On the way to school, the boys would debate who's picks were the best. Surprisingly, they were attracted to different types of collections. Seamus leaned towards the expensive Star Wars legos while Finn picked and plucked among many smaller collections. Sometimes the discussions got quite heated and I had to take the catalog away for the remainder of our ride.

These days the catalog is dangerously close to meeting its maker in the recycling bin. Some of the inner pages have fallen out. The edges are worn and dog eared. Some are slightly torn with use, but the kids wont let me throw it out! Ive tried to discard it a couple times but have given up. The boys always sense when the catalog is near death and they rescue it from our trash. Oh well. I suppose its a good reference for Christmas gifts - not that I need it. If I hear about the Fiery Legend item 6751 on page 28 one more time I might just scream. ;)

Edited at 10:42: photos of the kids playing LEGOS this morning. Im telling you, they love those things!



Happy Monday.

The Low Down.

The deets are choppy but this is what Ive gathered:

-Shea had a good time. :)

-(editorial note:) Shea was super nervous. I saw him within the half hour of the dance starting and he was definitely acting out of character. He appeared lost in his own thoughts and very quiet. In a word: pensive. I had a couple students and two of his teachers come up to me during the afternoon to say how differently he was acting. He was TOTALLY acting weird. I have seen him act this way before and its usually because he's neverous/anxious about something. Its hard to believe that anything can rattle him, but he was TOTALLY rattled yesterday before the dance.

-they played Billie Jean and Thriller by Michael Jackson. Random info, I know, but it was some he volunteered without any prodding.

- the music was played by the older students on an ipod.

-one song they played was Soulja Boy. (editorial note: blech.)

-Seamus slow danced with his classmate, A. This fact was substantiated to me by some other classmates after school. (editorial note: A. is a super nice, sweet, smart girl so I was not totally freaked out when I heard. If I had to pick a girl for him to dance with, it would have been her. ) Apparently, the dance was set up by their other classmate, J. (editoral note: As a former teacher of middle school, I can totally see the set up scenario happening, though I was surprised that it included Seamus. I would have thought it would involve other students in his class - more outgoing, girl crazy or alternatively boy crazy students - but not him. I was wrong.)

-when I asked Seamus how did he know what to do (editoral note: he's never slow danced before) he said "I think the ballroom dancing at school helped."

-he forgot the song they danced to. (editorial note: I still remember the song that was playing when I first danced with a boy. I guess that's a girl thing and not a boy thing.)

-when I asked if there were any other 6th graders that slow danced, he said he didnt think so. (editorial note: there was wide eyed, screaming going on in my head about this time. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!) Seamus later remembered a couple names of some classmates that did slow dance. (editorial note: Praise Jesus!)

- Seamus seemed to think that some kids didnt slow dance because there wasnt a counterpart the same height -as if that was a necessity. (editorial note: interesting thought, but that didnt seem to stop Seamus. He is the smallest kid in the class.)

-it is possible Seamus danced with a second girl. (editorial note: I am still unclear if this actually happened or if he was talking about some other classmate. I think when he told me this tidbit I might have checked out and gone into a black out, denial zone because I honestly cant recall if this information was a dream, something I misunderstood or for real. The details were hazy and we were both uncomfortable talking about it so I didnt push for much. I cant imagine my son dancing with ONE girl, let alone TWO. The whole thing kind of makes me feel a bit queasy in my stomach.)

So how about that for a Happy Friday! Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk! ;)

Extra Exta - Seamus' First Dance!

This just in: Seamus went to his first social dance today! It was a dance for the middle schoolers at St. Francis and was done during school hours. I had very little time to process this information. Seamus didnt tell me about it; I heard from another student yesterday. I snuck in for a second (with Seamus' permission) and took a few pictures.

I have to go. More deets as I get them.'

Your Kiss Is On My List

Recently Seamus found this book in my room. Its called List Yourself and its basically an empty journal with a prompt on each page asking you to list something thought provoking and random. I bought this book over 10 years ago when I was teaching middle school. I used to have the kids do a warm up in their journal every day for about 7 minutes before I started class. I bought this book to get ideas and to add variety to the journal prompts. Sometimes its easier to list something than actually write and I knew this was true with my students.

When I bought this book, I wrote in a few of the pages and dated each entry. I thought it would be interesting to see how particular lists might change with the years. I only wrote in maybe a dozen entries and there are over 200 in the book. Seamus has gotten great enjoyment reading what Ive written in years past. The prompts have brought about some interesting conversations. For example, one of the entries on page 24 asks to "List all the names you've been called, endearing and not so endearing." I wrote in 9/97:

Mom has called me Lee-see my whole life. She also calls me "Babes." Dad used to call me "Weasel" when I was little. Erin and Kira call me "Lee" and in all the yearbook entries, letters and cards they've written me they each start them off with "Li" - never "Lisa." I like that.

Then, I wrote another entry on this same page that is dated 9.15.06 and reads:

Mama. I hear that dozens and dozens of times each day. "Mean Mama" is something Ive been hearing lately and I dont like it very much.

Seamus thought that was hysterical and was laughing his head off when I read it. I didnt see the humor in it. I vividly recall the period of time when he called me that. He was in love with his "Dadoo" during that time and I was the evil Mama who never let him do anything. Shea had a very particular way he would say "Mean Mama" to me - like I can hear his little squeaky voice and the tone in which he would speak it. In 2006 Seamus would have been 7 years old. Im positive I began hearing "Mean Mama" way earlier than 2006, but ironically I dont hear it much anymore. Im thankful for this, though now I hear other exclamations that are equally unkind in nature. Ahhh.... motherhood. Gotta love it! ;)

Because this book has given Seamus such enjoyment, I figured Id pick a page randomly from time to time and answer it here on the blog. Today's list question is located on page 70 and reads: List the food that's always left in your refrigerator after everything else is eaten."

11.17.09
-lots of salad dressing, and we honestly rarely ever eat salad. So strange.
-soy sauce, parmesan cheese, tabasco and maple syrup
-condiments like ketchup, mustard, mayo (for when my mother in law comes) and relish.
-butter, both cubed and in the Country Crock container
-usually an old jar of half eaten Ragu or Prego spaghetti sauce. I dont know why I always save them.
-vegetables. Presently, I have some mini carrots that have been in there a long time. I should throw those out.
-crescent rolls. I keep them on hand for when Elijah comes over. My own kids dont eat them much.
-wine. We have a bottle of Vin Ruspo that we brought back from Italy in 07. Saving it for a special occasion.
-champagne. Very random. Again, I suppose its there for a special occasion.

Happy Tuesday. Gosh I love Tuesdays. :)

Layout Shares

seen at twopeasinabucket.com

Me Gusta! - Glee

I have a few guilty pleasures: peanut butter, itunes, quilts and Glee.

You guys know about Glee, right? Its an hour show on Fox about a group of mismatched high school students who create a glee club on campus. Sounds typical, right? Its not. In every episode the actors sing. Yeah. You heard me right. They sing show tunes and popular music and classic rock and oldies. The writers work the songs into the plot in clever ways. It doesnt feel forced. On average I'd say they sing about 2 songs an episode. Personally, I get pretty bummed if they dont have 3 songs and my preference is that one of those three be a group song. But... that's just me.

Glee comes on Wednesday nights and Matt and I typically watch it together. We tivo it and after the first showing I usually go back and watch the musical numbers over and over until the next episode airs the following week. Ive seen the "Dont Stop Believing" number about 50 times. Ive watched the football scene where they sing Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" about 30 times. I've watched the Queen number "Somebody to Love" about 30 times.

I know. Im a freak. Believe me, I wish I could explain why I love the musical numbers so much. I dont know why. It confuses me a lot and I feel like a big ol' dork sitting in front of the tv smiling like a child on Christmas morning. But it is what it is. I dig it.... a lot.

In this week's episode two characters sang a song called "Defying Gravity." Apparently the song is from the Broadway play "Wicked," but I didnt know that when I first heard it. Instead I was blown away by the words and the way the actors sang it. I was touched by the way they worked it into the plot. Ive watched the scene a lot... not 30 times, but its only Friday morning. ;)

After the show aired, I went on itunes and bought "Defying Gravity" as sung by the Glee cast. I then proceeded to listen to it (and a couple other songs I downloaded from the Glee soundrack) about three dozen times. Currently it says Ive listened to it on itunes 12 times, but that doesnt include the countless times Ive listened in the car and in the kitchen port. Ive listened to it a lot. When I hear it, I try to sing with the actors and I cant. I do not nearly have the range to pull off that song, but I dont care. It feels good to sing it. When I picked up Seamus from football practice yesterday, he got in the car and said "Mama, what is this song you keep listening to?" and Finn replied "I dont know, but I know all the words. She keeps playing it over and over again."

Finn was right. He does know all the words. I know this because on the way to school this morning, all three of us were singing the song at the top of our lungs. We listened to "Defying Gravity" and then "Dont Stop Believing" over and over again until we got to school. Ahhhhh. I wish I could start off every morning that way - all of us singing together in the car. Good times. When we entered the parkinglot Seamus said "Mama, you need to buy "Someone To Love." I cant believe you haven't bought that song yet. You loved it when they sang that song."

What Shea didnt know is that I did buy "Someone to Love." I just hadnt uploaded it to the ipod yet. I love that he mentioned it, though. He knows me well.

Happy Friday, peeps!

Missing You.

Missing the light.
Missing the warmth.
Missing the quiet.
Missing the fact that there is really nothing to do out there.
Missing the stars.
Missing my love.

Happy Thursday.

Happy Veteran's Day

To all those who serve, in times of war and in times of peace: THANK YOU. :)

Seamus' Latest Thing: Chess

Seamus has been really into chess lately. We went and bought a cheap set at the 99 cent store last month and he's been hooked ever since.

He's played Matt a couple times, but mostly I am his opponent. Though Im not a good player, I enjoy the game. I think its fun. More importantly, Im not a sore loser. Seamus is very competitive and likes to win. He's very methodical and often gloats as he's playing. "Im three plays ahead of you, Mama. You don't know what's coming." (((groan))) When I play Seamus I like to shake up his arrogant exterior. I play him quickly and fearlessly. I can be quite aggressive on the attack and often times this style of playing stumps Seamus and I'll win. He gets so mad when I win.

We're about even as far as wins and losses. Shea's beaten me half the time and Ive beaten him the other half. The last time we played I beat him and he was so mad that he told me he wouldnt play me anymore. This morning was the first time in about a week that he's asked me to play. I was glad he had stopped sulking, but I was super busy and didnt have the time to play. Instead of telling him no, I threw him the game. It was the fastest game we've ever played. Upon winning, he looked at me and said "Mama... you didnt even try. I dont want to play you if you're not going to try." That made me smile. It felt satisfying that he knew I had thrown the game and even more gratifying that he didnt spend much time gloating about a win he didnt rightfully earn.

Happy Wednesday.

Weekend Highlights.

Friday:
The kids' school had its first community function of the year: The Annual Chili Cookoff. Each grade submitted 2-3 chili recipes and the families were encouraged to come, socialize and eat. My dad, Miranda and Miranda's boyfriend Chris joined us in the night's festivities. We had a really good time and I was super thankful they were able to come. I didnt end up submitting an entry for the cookoff, but that didnt mean there was a lack of things for me to do regarding this event. On Thursday night, Matt and I were up late cooking 4 dozen cookies for the bake sale. I was also assigned various tasks that had to be done the day of the cook off. Im actually pretty grateful I didnt sign up to cook. I would have been totally stressed out.

The highlight of the night for me was watching the 6th and 7th grades students square dance.

Seamus informed me that his class had been practicing their dancing all week. He didnt seem overly enthusiastic about it, but that didnt surprise me. I imagined the prospect of square dancing in front of hundreds of people would not be something Seamus would enjoy. But I was wrong! All the kids, Seamus included, seemed to really love the square dancing. Im guessing they were out there for about 15-20 minutes and I never saw one kid looking glum or bored. In fact, they all seemed to get more into it as the dancing progressed. When the students first started, I could tell Seamus was a little nervous. His partner was a girl in his class named Ashley. Although they are friends, square dancing requires holding hands and dancing in close proximity at times. I think that fact made Seamus feel a little bit awkward. But after about 2 minutes, he had loosened up and seemed to be having a good time. It was super nice for me to see him in that light: carefree and enjoying himself, but not out of control.

Saturday:
We had an early soccer game in Del Mar Saturday morning. I thought the traveling that club soccer teams require would get old after a while, but it really doenst bother me much. If I were having to get up early multiple Saturdays to watch a lousy team play a boring game I might not be happy. But Seamus' soccer team is actually pretty good. They are on a winning streak right now and more importantly, the team is really gelling and doing well together. They have become a very good team.

Sunday:
Matt and Finn had a cub scout meeting at our house on Sunday, so I took the opportunity to vacate the premises and attend the Rose Bowl Flea Market in Pasadena. Ive been a couple times to this HUGE outdoor market and have really enjoyed myself. They have a great selection of unique and unusual vintage items. Even if you're not buying, its fun to go and look. When my friend Ellie notified me that she was going this past Sunday I decided to tag along. I invited my friend Tina to come with me and I also decided to take Seamus. If I could do it all over again, I would NOT take him along. Pasadena is about 2.5 hours away and although Seamus was great while we were at the flea market, he was a total nightmare on the trip up and on the trip back. When I came home, I didnt feel rejuvinated or excited by the day's events. Instead I felt embarrassed, frustrated and grumpy. I hate when that happens.

I bought two items at the flea market. First, some vintage glasses:

And secondly, this hand embroidered picture:

I really debated on buying this needlepoint piece. It was a little more than I wanted to pay, but in the end I bought it because I totally fell in love with the saying. Im so glad I bought it because seeing it on my wall makes me feel like the day wasnt a complete waste. The trophy of me going and putting up with all Shea's crap is that needlepoint frame. I earned it and it is mine.

Ive got a really busy day today: haircut, speech, playdate, soccer carpool. I better get going.
Happy Tuesday.

Running On Empty

This week has been a killer. To say I need a break is an understatement. I am physically, emotionally and mentally spent. Its Thursday and Im feeling semi - numb; kind of checked out. Im still moving and going through the motions of our daily life, but Im emotionally and mentally shut down.

Ive been running this week. Running to parent/teacher conferneces (oh joy!); running to speech; running to soccer practice; running to school - drop off, pick up; running to volunteer; running to the grocery store; running to the pharmacy; running to Weight Watchers; running to football practice. Running. Running. Running.

The running has been leaving me exhausted by the end of the day. Im thinking that day light savings is playing a role in my fatigue too. It seriously pains me when the days get shorter and its dark by 5pm. I feel like my life is being shut into a box without my consent. I dont like it. By 9pm each night I literally cant keep my eyes open. As I read to the boys at night, I have to fight from falling asleep. Once they're in bed my body reclines, my head hits the pillow and Im out. But instead of sleep, my brain goes running. Phooey! My dreams are about the stuff thats bothering me right now. I wake up a few times at night and have a hard time going back to sleep. When morning comes, I wake up sad and frustrated and tired. Even in sleep, the break eludes me. Such is life this week.

I was thinking today about when Matt and I came home from Italy. We spent 16 glorious days traveling to Rome and Florence and Tuscany and Venice. Prior to the trip, I hadnt spent more than one full weekend away from the kids. Going to Italy in 2007 was the first time since becoming the mother of two that I personally got an extended break. The boys were not with us - they stayed at home with Dama Shan. Being in Italy was like being in a different world. I barely thought about my real life - the boys, my house, my responsibilities as a wife and mother. Instead, Matt and I soaked up every second we could in that warm, beautiful country. We jumped right in. The culture. The art. The history. The beauty. We immersed ourselves in it for 16 days. When we came home to Vista we were ready. We were rested and recharged. I could have spent more time in Italy, but I was ready to be home with my kids. I wanted them. I wanted our life together - the good, the bad and the ugly. There was a mixture of gratitude and excitement and dedication and celebration in coming home to my young sons. It suprised me. That feeling stayed with me for weeks. Traveling to Italy with Matt was an unforgettable experience. I will remember it my entire life. But coming home with a yearning to be Seamus and Finn's mama was a joyous feeling I did not anticipate. It was like a gift on top of a gift.

I dont deserve a break like I did in 2007. My kids are 11 and 8. Pretty soon they will be grown and all this talk will make me feel selfish, self absorbed and foolish. In 10 years I will look back at myself and think "What a stupid little girl I was. I didnt know how good I had it. Someone should have knocked some sense into me." I should appreciate my busy little life, right? I should enjoy my boys while they're young - enjoy all that comes with being a stay at home mom. I am very lucky. I am keenly aware of it. I am very lucky.

Its just nice to take some time to recharge. Im beginnign to think its necessary - not a luxury. Im not the best at making time for myself, but I will soon. Its got to be done - for me and for my family.

And speaking of my family, look at this picture I found this week. Its over a year old, taken by my good friend Tara Whitney. I swear, I love my life when I see it through her lens.

Oh...and that image at the beginning of this post is from a line of cards at WalMart. HOw perfect to illustrate my life right now.

Happy Thursday.

You Better Lose Yourself In the Music...The Moment.. You Own It... You Better Never Let it Go.

When I was in the second grade, I memorized the songs and dialogue to the Broadway play, Evita. My parents saw the Andrew Lloyd Webber play and when my dad bought the soundtrack I listened to the double album over and over again for months. Evita and Che's voices as played by Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin sounded so harmoniously beautiful to me. I was totally captivated by the music. I am not exaggerating when I tell you I knew every single word of that 2 hour play. However, Im not sure the plot - the story of Eva Peron - ever registered in my 8 year old mind. I just loved the music and I felt really wonderful and proud singing along with the melodies.

Sometime during that year, my family and I went to Disneyland. As we were waiting to get on a ride, I remember hanging on the bars separating people in line and singing the Evita soundtrack. The song I was singing at the time was called "Rainbow Tour" and in that song there is a line that goes "Did you hear that... they called me a whore. They actually called me a whore!" I sang the song word for word but I honestly had no idea what it was talking about. I didnt know the context of it being said in the play. Heck, I didnt even know what a "whore" was or that it was an inappropriate thing for me to sing. I was only 8 years old. There were people standing next to us in line and they began gesturing at me. I could tell they were talking to each other about me but I incorrectly thought they were impressed with my singing and my knowledge of the Evita play. I sang more. I sang loudy. Suddenly, my mom grabbed my arm, yanking me off the bars. She told me in a hushed tone that I shouldnt be singing that song and she wanted me to stop. I didnt understand why she was mad at me and was hurt that she would silence me. After all, I loved that play! I sang it all the time and she never got mad at me before.

It wasnt until many years later that I understood why my mom stopped me from singing that day. What was accepted at home was not necessarily appropriate or acceptable out in public. It didnt matter that I was unaware of the context of the song. Truthfully, I didnt even know what offending word I had sung. But others - strangers - would know what I was singing about and they would not be understanding of it. As a parent, I can imagine how horrified my mom must have been hearing her second grader sing about whores and watching strangers react to it. Im sure she blamed my dad - it was his leniency and encouragement that allowed me to memorize the Evita sountrack. But as a child, it remained a real mystery why she got upset with me that day. I knew I had done something bad, but I was genuinely baffled as to what it was.

Segue 30 years later to my own kids. Like my dad, I let Seamus and Finn listen to all the music I own. I own a pretty vast musical library and I take pride in encouraging my sons' musical interests. One song that I own and enjoy is Eminem's song "Lose Yourself." This song came out several years ago. Its a hip hop rap and it includes some f-bombs; 2 to be exact. Lately, Finn has been singing this song. Whenever Matt and I hear him breaking off some lyrics in the house we always look at each other and smile because its funny that he can sing any of it at all. Its a rap and its not easy to sing or understand the words. Its sung very fast and with a cadence that is hard to keep up with. But Finn sings it. He knows the words. Recently I have heard him singing it at random times and in random places. This fact has me a bit nervous. For example, this weekend he was singing it in the barber chair while getting a hair cut. Matt and I spied each other from across the room and instead of smilng we gave each other a worried look like "Oh crap. I hope he doenst get to that point in the song." Honest to God, Ive never heard him drop the f bomb yet. Unlike my child self, he knows the word and he knows its not an acceptable thing for him to say. I wonder if he even hears the word when he's listening to the song or if it just part of the music that floats through his head. When I was a kid, I didnt hear the lyrics. I only heard them part of the melody; part of the music. But I bet he hears it. I bet he knows. While he hasnt sung it yet, what will I do when he does? Where will we be? Who will we be with? Will it matter? I have dozens of songs in my itunes library with expletives in them. This wont be the last song that interests Finn (or Seamus for that matter) with a bad word in it. Will it be ok if he sings the word at home vs it popping out in public? Will I be judged harshly if my mom or my friends and family know that I allow my kids to listen to songs with the f-word? These are all things Im thinking about right now and I believe this post will nudge me to do something proactive about this singing dilemma.

Yeah. That's what I'll do. I'll talk to Finn about it before it happens. I'll talk to him about the word and how its not ok for him to sing it in public. I"ll talk to him about how others - strangers, friends and family alike - will judge him in an unfriendly light if they hear him sing it. Yeah. That's what I 'll do. I like this feeling: being ahead of the eight ball instead of behind it.

Happy Tuesday. :)

There Aint No Rest For The Wicked.

I got a sickie home today.

Last night Seamus was complaining of a headache, mild sore throat and overall fatigue. He told me he felt "blah." He's not really a complainer, but he has been known to fudge his symptoms in order to avoid going to school. I put him in Finn's room so that he was closer to us in the night and he promptly fell asleep. No fever. No cough. No chills.

This morning, when he got out of the shower, he again complained of a headache and fatigue. Im pretty sure this isnt the flu. It could be his medicine. It could be that he's just worn out from a very chaotic weekend. I figured it couldnt hurt to plop him on the couch and let him rest the day away. We all need days like that from time to time, dont we?

So there he rests, alone on the couch. The tv remote close and a quilt snuggly tucked around him.

Im going to get some cleaning done today. Our house needs it badly.

Happy Monday.

Halloween 09

Halloween this year was different than normal. We usually spend Halloween at my cousin Nicole's house. They live in a planned community and their neighbors really get into the holiday. Her daughters Isa and Gabriela are there and my sister's kids Eli and Abbey drive over. Usually Miranda and my parents and my grandma show up. We have pizza and beer and the kids make out with all the candy they receive. We always have a nice time. However, this year Seamus and Finn were invited to spend Halloween with their friends. I could appreciate them wanting to spend the night with kids their age, but I also like the tradition of seeing my family. I decided we could do both and unfortunately some things got messed up in the shuffle.

At around 4:30 we headed off to Nic's place. I called both of my sisters as we were heading out in the hopes that I wouldn't miss them. I didnt call my mom; I figured she and Dad would be there. When I arrived at Jennifer's house (we decided to caravan over since we live in the same neighborhood) she reminded me about Mom's surgery and told me Mom wasnt going to go to Nicole's. Crap! I hadnt expected that. Unlike my two sisters, I hadnt spoken or seen my mom since her surgery. I figured she'd be at Nicole's, but instead found myself realizing that we probably werent going to see her or my father that night. Bummer! When we arrived Nic's place I was happy to see my Grandma, Fabricio (Nicole's husband,) my Aunt Lucy and my Uncle Joe. Phew! Some things were still the same. All the kids look adorable and it was great to see Nicole's friends, Jennifer and Lindy. However, another unexpected problem quickly arose: Miranda and I had a miscommunication about when we'd be at Nicole's and in her frustration decided not to go. Ugggh! WTF??? So much for getting pictures with everyone. I was beginning to feel stressed out and the night had barely begun!

Thankfully, things did settle down once we met up with Tina and Chris to attend the party. The boys were really excited to see each other in their costumes. Tina's kids were all matching puppy dogs: Mutley, Sparky and Rhino. They looked adorable. We walked over to the Larsen's house where the party was taking place and after some food and festivities the boys, Matt and I went trick or treating. We have lived in our house for almost 11 years and this year was the first time we trick or treated in our own neighborhood. It was pretty neat.

Here are some pics:

Matt and I got really into our costumes this year. I was a witch. He was a zombie.

Here are the cousins with Grandma Nena.

The cousins:

Halloween this year was different and the fall out in my family has been pretty yucky. (((sigh))) I really hope last night isnt a premonition for what Thanksgiving is going to be like. God help us if it is.
Happy Sunday.