You Better Lose Yourself In the Music...The Moment.. You Own It... You Better Never Let it Go.

When I was in the second grade, I memorized the songs and dialogue to the Broadway play, Evita. My parents saw the Andrew Lloyd Webber play and when my dad bought the soundtrack I listened to the double album over and over again for months. Evita and Che's voices as played by Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin sounded so harmoniously beautiful to me. I was totally captivated by the music. I am not exaggerating when I tell you I knew every single word of that 2 hour play. However, Im not sure the plot - the story of Eva Peron - ever registered in my 8 year old mind. I just loved the music and I felt really wonderful and proud singing along with the melodies.

Sometime during that year, my family and I went to Disneyland. As we were waiting to get on a ride, I remember hanging on the bars separating people in line and singing the Evita soundtrack. The song I was singing at the time was called "Rainbow Tour" and in that song there is a line that goes "Did you hear that... they called me a whore. They actually called me a whore!" I sang the song word for word but I honestly had no idea what it was talking about. I didnt know the context of it being said in the play. Heck, I didnt even know what a "whore" was or that it was an inappropriate thing for me to sing. I was only 8 years old. There were people standing next to us in line and they began gesturing at me. I could tell they were talking to each other about me but I incorrectly thought they were impressed with my singing and my knowledge of the Evita play. I sang more. I sang loudy. Suddenly, my mom grabbed my arm, yanking me off the bars. She told me in a hushed tone that I shouldnt be singing that song and she wanted me to stop. I didnt understand why she was mad at me and was hurt that she would silence me. After all, I loved that play! I sang it all the time and she never got mad at me before.

It wasnt until many years later that I understood why my mom stopped me from singing that day. What was accepted at home was not necessarily appropriate or acceptable out in public. It didnt matter that I was unaware of the context of the song. Truthfully, I didnt even know what offending word I had sung. But others - strangers - would know what I was singing about and they would not be understanding of it. As a parent, I can imagine how horrified my mom must have been hearing her second grader sing about whores and watching strangers react to it. Im sure she blamed my dad - it was his leniency and encouragement that allowed me to memorize the Evita sountrack. But as a child, it remained a real mystery why she got upset with me that day. I knew I had done something bad, but I was genuinely baffled as to what it was.

Segue 30 years later to my own kids. Like my dad, I let Seamus and Finn listen to all the music I own. I own a pretty vast musical library and I take pride in encouraging my sons' musical interests. One song that I own and enjoy is Eminem's song "Lose Yourself." This song came out several years ago. Its a hip hop rap and it includes some f-bombs; 2 to be exact. Lately, Finn has been singing this song. Whenever Matt and I hear him breaking off some lyrics in the house we always look at each other and smile because its funny that he can sing any of it at all. Its a rap and its not easy to sing or understand the words. Its sung very fast and with a cadence that is hard to keep up with. But Finn sings it. He knows the words. Recently I have heard him singing it at random times and in random places. This fact has me a bit nervous. For example, this weekend he was singing it in the barber chair while getting a hair cut. Matt and I spied each other from across the room and instead of smilng we gave each other a worried look like "Oh crap. I hope he doenst get to that point in the song." Honest to God, Ive never heard him drop the f bomb yet. Unlike my child self, he knows the word and he knows its not an acceptable thing for him to say. I wonder if he even hears the word when he's listening to the song or if it just part of the music that floats through his head. When I was a kid, I didnt hear the lyrics. I only heard them part of the melody; part of the music. But I bet he hears it. I bet he knows. While he hasnt sung it yet, what will I do when he does? Where will we be? Who will we be with? Will it matter? I have dozens of songs in my itunes library with expletives in them. This wont be the last song that interests Finn (or Seamus for that matter) with a bad word in it. Will it be ok if he sings the word at home vs it popping out in public? Will I be judged harshly if my mom or my friends and family know that I allow my kids to listen to songs with the f-word? These are all things Im thinking about right now and I believe this post will nudge me to do something proactive about this singing dilemma.

Yeah. That's what I'll do. I'll talk to Finn about it before it happens. I'll talk to him about the word and how its not ok for him to sing it in public. I"ll talk to him about how others - strangers, friends and family alike - will judge him in an unfriendly light if they hear him sing it. Yeah. That's what I 'll do. I like this feeling: being ahead of the eight ball instead of behind it.

Happy Tuesday. :)