Run Forrest Run - 2010!

This past Saturday the boys participated in the countywide, Catholic school's track meet. Many schools from around the county come together for this once a year meet at Cathedral High School in San Diego. Last year was the kids' first time ever particpating in a track meet. This year, they kind of knew what to expect.

Seamus and Finn did mostly running events. Seamus ran the 400 relay and placed third in the county for the 1600. He was very proud because the long runs got medals as opposed to the ribbons won by the sprint races. Finner ran the 400 shuttle relay, the 50 yard sprint and the softball throw. His shuttle relay won first in the county for all third graders. We were soooo proud of him! After they won, Finn was walking around aimlessly down on the field with some of the other kids on the relay team. Parents arent allowed to be on the field unless they have a pass so I was up in the bleachers keeping an eye on him from afar. When I saw him receive his ribbon I got so excited that I yelled across to him to show me his ribbon. He heard my call but coudlnt see me amid the hundreds of parents in the stands. This is the shot I got of him. So cute!

When I was in elementary/middle school, I ran the annual track meet for St. Francis. It wasnt super fun for me, but I liked representing my school and hanging out with my friends. I look forward to the annual track meet with my boys because its neat to see them repeat the same events of my childhood. I hope that it is worthwhile for them and that they feel proud competing for their small school. That being said, track isnt really my thing. Its a long day and the past two years have been hot. We have to get up super early on a Saturday and then we hang around, for hours, semi engaged in what seems to be a very chaotic series of events. For Matt, however, attending the track meet with the boys is a joy! He competed in track during high school and college and I think being in that atmosphere brings back those old glory days for him. He loves the excitement of the meet. He loves the sights and sounds. Matt actually checks the times of the races as they finish and he has practical advice for the kids on their events. If the boys ever chose to continue with track in high school (or college) Im sure Matt would be thrilled and never miss a meet.

Im going to close this post with a picture of Seamus during the last sprint of his bronze medal, 1600 meter run. He had to run four laps around the track and at the end he got in a sprint war with a boy who was at least a foot and a half taller than him. It was such a rousing finish. When Seamus saw these pictures today (there is actually a series of them - all equally dramatic) Seamus gave a heavy sigh and merely said "I was so tired at the end. I could barely stand." He did alright, though. Both my boys did a great job. Matt and I are both super proud of their effort and strength.

Happy Wednesday.

"Cheer up, Charlie. Give Me A Smile."

Finner had a rough day today. When I say rough, I mean my boy broke down during class and began to cry over something he viewed as unfair. From that one disappointment, Finn spiraled into a full blown pity party. It wasnt good. Coincidently, I was the volunteer nurse at school today. When Finn got upset, I knew about it very quickly. A couple of his classmates told me. This is what happened:

Today was the day when the third graders finally "graduated" to using pen on their school work. Most of the class "passed," but there were about 6 students who had to continue writing in pencil until their penmanship in cursive became consistently neat. Finn was one of those 6 students. This was devastating to him. When I talked to him during lunch, he told me how much he was looking forward to writing in pen and how unfair he felt it was that he couldnt do it with the rest of the class. I had actually heard him talk about the day he would get to write in pen so I understood this let down to be sincere. Unfortunately for Finn, the set back in handwriting snowballed into him lamenting every disappointment he had encountered today and there were a few. I must admit that hearing of his troubles made me sad too.

First there was his oral book report. The 3rd graders were to tell a brief summary of their book and then they had to answer from 8 previewed questions. The students could not be asked more than 5 questions each and according to Finn every kid had lots of questions from the class, except for him. Only three classmates asked him questions and this left him feeling, in his own words, "uncared for." Next, he recounted for me what happened at recess. Everyday when teams are chosen for soccer, Finn is picked last or second to last. Although I have never been chosen last for a team sport, I could feel his pain. Most days he is somehow able to shrug off his hurt feelings and play with his classmates; but today it was too much for him to bear. Finn was sobbing when he told me about these two extra incidents. I tried to console him as best I could, but I could totally understand his despondency.

The fact is, my Finn is not a "cool kid" in his school of 20 third graders. He is socially awkward and often times has a hard time fitting in. Although Matt and I tell Finn how wonderful he is and cite to him often his many strengths and talents, the fact is that he, like every kid, wants to feel cool. He wants to feel secure that people like him. He wants to feel secure that his classmates want to be around him. I think that most days, Finn is able to ignore the minutiae that refutes his A status. He has an admirable yet uncanny ability and see the positive that each day ability. But today was rough.

Sometimes, childhood can be hard.

Edited: Matt just told me that my post made him sad and that he wished I had ended it with Finn doing so well on his homework tonight. I thought it was a good idea, so I will.

Ms. Marley, Finn's teacher, told me that she didnt mean to blackball him and the other kids by making them continue to write in pencil. Instead, she felt like it should be viewed as an incentive for them to try harder on their handwriting. As soon as she saw consistent improvement, Finn would be allowed to write in pen. We talked about this at school and Finn understood. Tonight, Finn had two pages of cursive science homework to do. Can we say brutal? Yes. Brutal. My boy sat at our dining table for a real long time meticulously doing his homework. Even Seamus and his crazy antics couldnt distract him from concentrating on his handwriting. When Finn was done, he came in to show me and Matt. He was very proud of his work and when we praised him for his neat handwriting (it really was very neat) he beamed at us. If Finn keeps up the good work, I bet he'll be writing in pen come April.

Happy Monday.

Me Gusta! - Molly, McGee and Max.

Yesterday after school, Seamus told me about a web cam that his class watched regarding an owl named Molly. I listened with distracted attention. He spoke about watching the owl with eat and care for her baby. It sounded like something Seamus would be enthusiastic about. He's such a science kid. I, on the other hand, am totally NOT a science person. I nodded as he spoke and acted interested, but in actuality I wasnt.

Once Matt got home, Seamus brought up the webcam on the computer. It is sooooo cooool, you guys! I was hooked almost immediately and spent the rest of the evening watching Molly and her baby, Max. A little bit of info: the webcam is a live feed from an owl house in San Marcos - a neighboring town to ours. Along with the live feed is live audio so you can hear the owls talk to each other and learn about what they're doing by the sounds they make. Molly is the mama owl; McGee is the dad owl; and Max is the baby. Molly has several eggs she's sitting on so the owners of the webcam anticipate more babies in the coming days. Right now, if you check out the webcam its mostly the Molly show. She rarely leaves the nest. Several times a day you can see the baby, Max and very occassionally McGee flies in with some food. Its fascinating to watch... at least to me.

Here is the website/live feed if you're interested: http://www.ustream.tv/theowlbox
And here are some pictures of the boys watching Molly and Max yesterday evening. When I took the last picture in the sequence, I said "Hey boys, look here so I can take a family picture of you guys with Molly and Max." Finn though the idea was hilarious, but Seamus took it very seriously - hence the wonderful smile.

Happy Tuesday.

Monday Morning

1. This morning, Seamus got up, took a shower and made his bed without any direction or coaxing from me. That, my friends, is not an everyday occurrence. He really amazed me this morning. I mean, I dont even make my bed everyday. What in the world got him up on such a responsible path? It really make me think that its a damn shame I can't tap into his head and see what is going on in there; whats motivating him. Maybe if I knew, I could nurture that "whatever it is" and help make it a regular pattern in his life. Regardless, I love seeing this responsible young man coming into view. I love how hard he tries. He's amazing.

2. My layout of Finn's basketball season went up at two peas. Im not loving it. I mean, its cool I got the memory and the pictures down, but its not really working for me. Honestly, its been hard for me to scrap the past several months to a year. I just dont need it like i used to. I feel like my life has evolved over the past couple years and scrapbooking isnt a priority anymore. It used to be. I remember those days when I needed it so much. It was my sanity. But its not like that anymore. The whole thing has me feeling kind of weird. Like Im holding on to something that I need to cut loose. Gosh... even saying that makes me nervous. Anyway, you can see the layout at twopeasinabucket.com or here.


3. As Im writing I can hear a wood pecker out side going to town on the telephone pole. How does his head not split open. Amazing.

4. I am not yet convinced I want to go on my walk this morning. Ive got about 30 minutes to make up my mind before its too late. I'll probably enjoy it, but I'll have to shower afterwards and thats kind of a pain - especially when I already took a shower this morning. I didnt go at all last week so I probably should today. Decisions, decisions. What to do?

5. Im going to leave you with a picture of my goofy babies. They really arent babies anymore. I probably shouldnt call them that. I mean, Seamus is a pre-adolescent for crying out loud. Watching them grow is so bittersweet for me at times. Somedays it is seriously mindblowing that my boys are 11 and 9. Like, where did the last 10 years go? TEN YEARS! That kind of time doenst just slip away does it? It reminds me of that Ferris Bueller quote: "Life moves pretty fast. If you dont stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." The thing is, I feel like Ive looked around a lot. Ive been here all along - up to my neck in it at times. But sometimes its pretty difficult to see where we are and wonder where the days and hours have gone. So strange. I wonder if the next 10 years will go as fast. I'll have teenagers in the next 10 years. Boys with facial and underarm hair. Boys with deep voices. Boys with indepdence and cell phones and cars. I imagine those years wont fly like the younger years have, but I could be wrong. Im wrong a lot. Life never ceases to make an ass out of me.

I think Im going to go on my walk this morning. Gotta jet.
Happy Monday. :)

Layout Share.

As seen at twopeasinabucket.com

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Ive always loved St. Patricks Day. In my life, March 17th has always been a special day. I may only have a tiny bit of Irish blood in me, but every March 17th I celebrate with the best of them. The excitement of the day is contagious and I find myself wanting to stand and be counted among the many Irish Americans in this country. When I married Matt and took his name, in my head and heart it was "on like Donkey Kong". I was Irish - if only in name. But heck, with a name like Lisa McGarvey, no one would deny me going a little overboard on St. Patricks Day, would they? I think not. ;)

These days, the majority of my enthusiasm for St. Patrick's Day is thrown at my sons, Seamus and Finn. Almost every year I do something - even if its just taking shamrock cookies into their classrooms. In years past Ive made pots of gold for the boys to pass out at school. Ive been asked to read Irish legends and share the story of St. Patrick to their classmates. One year we made a rainbow craft with the kindergardeners. Whatever we do, I always try to make it fun. This year I made bead garlands for their classmates and when I dropped the boys off at their classrooms, Seamus' teacher invited me to stay. Unbeknownst to me, the sixth grade class was getting together with their third grade buddies for some St. Patrick's Day merriment. Mrs. Talbot made soda bread (it was delicious!) and told the kids about her family immigrating from Ireland to Boston. She talked to them about St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland and discussed how he brought many Irishmen to the Catholic faith. After a small craft, the kids went outside for a scavenger hunt of candy and "gold." I was so grateful she asked me to stay and thankfully I had my camera with me to snap some quick pictures.



The highlight of my morning was when Seamus got up and danced an Irish jig in front of the class. The sixth graders have been practicing Irish dancing for an upcoming school program and Mrs. Talbot asked for volunteers to demonstrate the style of dancing for the third graders. Two girls got up and began dancing along with the traditional music. When Mrs. Talbot asked if any boys would come up and dance, the class began chanting Seamus' name. This scared me at first. I felt bad for him and imagined him feeling unnecessary pressure. But Seamus didnt seem to mind. He smiled at me, walked willingly to the front of the class and began dancing with the girls. I seriously could not believe it! He didnt seem embarrassed or shy. In fact, he looked like a perfect little Irish boy - kicking up his knees and legs with the music. He completely blew my mind! I had no idea he could dance like that.

Whatever you do today, I wanted to wish you all a Happy St. Patrick's Day. And if per chance you are the celebrating type, feel free to have a green beer for me. :)

Happy Wednesday.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

I am not a confrontational person by nature. Its just not part of my DNA. When I do try to assert myself, I usually end up looking foolish and impulsive. People dont take me seriously when I stick up for what I believe. Instead of those around me saying "You know, Lisa has a good point. Lets listen to her," they end up saying "Dude, someone is having a bad day. What a freak!"

You would think as a mother, that I would be different about my kids, right? Wrong. Its an equally unnatural feeling for me to stick up for my boys - be it with other kids, school or family. I can do it when necessary and I have felt that "mother bear" surge before, but mostly it feels wrong. Assertiveness just doesnt come naturally for me.

Given all this information, you can imagine how rare I felt e-mailing Finn's teacher about a grade he received in school. You see, I am not the kind of parent that makes waves. I typically dont question teachers on their procedures and practices. I dont believe myself to be a critical person, but I could be wrong. Usually, I give teachers and educators the benefit of the doubt. However, yesterday Finn brought home a bunch of graded classwork and one assignment struck me as odd. See image below.

A couple things: First, I am so damn thankful to the school and to Ms. Marley for making writing an integral part of Finn's education. It has been my experience that the art of learning to write is not a subject that is taken very seriously in school. When I saw this assignment come home I honestly felt so grateful that Finn was getting exposure and instruction about writing. Too often I feel like we tell kids "Oh... you're still young. You're only 9. You'll learn to better write in high school." In my experience, you need to know how to write by high school, not during it. Secondly, I was overcome with pride not only by my son's ability to write (in cursive, no doubt) but also because of the theme he chose to write about: his brother, Seamus. As I read his letter, I got a little choked up on account of the affection he voiced for his brother. What a freaking sweetheart!

As I was reading, I noticed the teacher's remarks on the first page. They appeared valid to me. Then I turned to the back page and saw what I believed to be his grade: a zero. I flipped back to the front and read again. This was a pretty good letter for a third grader - definitely above average in my mind. It seemed that the class was given directions to write three paragraphs on two pages, but Finn wrote three cramped paragraphs on one page. Did Finn's teacher give him a zero for not following the directions? Surely he didnt get a zero for his writing ability. In addition to this letter there were about three pre writing activities which Finn completed and were stapled to his final draft. For all this effort, it seemed unreal to me that he would receive zero credit. Even though I do not typically involve myself in classroom matters, I convinced myself that I owed it to Finn to ask for an explanation. In my opinion, Finn wrote a very good letter. I can somewhat understand teaching him a lesson about following directions, but to give him a zero on this assignment seemed absolutely unjust.

I emailed his teacher last night before going to bed. I didnt really over think what I was doing, which is rare. I also wasnt emotionally upset by the grade. I was merely confused. When I wrote Finn's teacher I explained that I was puzzled by the assignment and that I would appreciate an explanation why Finn was given a zero on his letter. I further explained that I believed had she done a word count of his essay, Finn's paper would be on par with the rest of the class that did follow directions. I felt like Finn was being penalized for the cramped style of his cursive and I told her that I believed the grade of a zero was unfair. I will admit the email was a mouthful from me, but when I sent it I felt kind of good. Its so rare and awkward for me to voice dissent in this manner, but I felt kind of responsible - like it was the right thing to do.

When I checked my email this morning, a message from his teacher was waiting:

Hi Mrs. McGarvey,
You are absolutely right, his letter did not deserve a zero. In fact, he got an O. What you saw was not a percentage, but rather a letter grade of an O. Finn did a great job with his letter and he was one of only two students who received an O. If you have any more questions let me know.
Thank you.
Ms. Marley.

Oh crap! Talk about feeling like a complete asshole. I went back and re read my email. Did it sound harsh and judgemental? Did I appear upset or overbearing in my writing? Did I come off as a total jerk? I dont believe Ive ever asked her to explain a graded assignment before. Did she think I was a hover parent and will be leery of me from now until the end of the year?

This is what happens when I try to assert myself - I end up opening my mouth and inserting my foot. I swear, Im hopeless. I should just stick to what I do best: avoiding conflict and looking the other way when it arrises.

I am happy for Finn though. Way to go, Buddy!

Happy Wednesday.

My Honor Student

Seamus wanst even 1.5 years old when I realized I needed to celebrate not only his major victories - like walking and talking and his first days of school- but his minor ones too. My road as a parent has not been easy or smooth sailing. Matt and I have been dealt some major challenges and obstacles we had no way of anticipating. We have set some benchmarks very high for our children, but we have also conceded that sometimes you need to celebrate and focus on the small victories. Life for us in Casa McGarvey is often about the little victories.

Last fall I began to see many subtle changes in my son that demonstrated a new found maturity. Seamus seemed to be more cooperative with me. He didnt fuss so much about the little things I asked him to do. He became more helpful around the house, often anticipating the things I needed done before I voiced them. He honestly seemed to try more than I had ever seen him do before. For the first time in my life as a parent, it seemed to me that Seamus wanted to reciprocate for all that he had been given. Instead of expecting without earning, Seamus began giving back.

I thought Shea's behavior was motivated by Christmas. I thought that the idea of Santa Claus and all the religious talk at school explained his change in behavior. Honestly, I didnt care what was motivating him. I didnt overthink it. Instead, I celebrated his behavior at every turn. I was so overjoyed to see this new, mature and conscientious boy emerge that I selfishly took what I was given. I enjoyed every minute of it and showered my oldest with constant praise. He deserved it.

To my surprise, Shea's good behavior didnt stop after Christmas. While some of the everyday helpfulness has died down a little bit, the overall maturity hasnt. Most recently, Shea's positive behavior has begun to show up in his school grades.

Last semester was tough for my new middle schooler. Seamus received a couple bad grades and Matt and I came down with some serious consequences. For the past few months there have been very few distractions between Seamus and his academic load. He goes to homework club everyday and he seems to have finally processed the connection between working hard and receiving good grades. He still has some off days, but for the most part his attitude and outlook has changed dramatically. On Friday, he got reinforcement for his hard work. St. Francis students were sent home progress reports for any grades C or under and for the first time since last year, Seamus didnt receive a progress report. People.... do you know what that means? That means that my 6th grader has all As and Bs right now! Im practically the parent of an honor student!!!

I am a little bit hesitant to post about all this on the blog. I know Seamus is going to have academic ups and downs all through middle and high school. But gosh darnit, this has to be celebrated! My son is naturally smart, but he never seemed to care about how his intelligence was reflected in his grades before this year. In the past few months Shea seems to have made a connection between giving his best effort and receiving good grades. Im not sure if he will pull off the As and Bs for the rest of the year, but I do know its possible. He can do it and he knows that now, too.

Happy freaking Monday, people! :)

If I Had A Million Dollars...

Yesterday my nephew Eli came over after school to play with Finn. The two cousins have been getting along really well lately and I wanted to give them some solo time to connect and play while Seamus was at soccer practice. When Seamus came home around four, the three of us trekked over to our green field up the street. I need to make up a name for the field. Im leaning towards Strawberry Fields because of the Beatles song, even though its not a strawberry field. Anyway,while we were out Jen and Abbey dropped by the house to get Eli but we werent there. Jen called me on the cell and they too came over to the field for a bit. Here are a few shots I got of them yesterday.




I absolutely love that picture above of Abbey above. She was heading into a thick area and when I called her name, she quickly looked over her shoulder. CLICK - a totally lucky shot. Oh... I love this next picture too. The grass is really tall in this field right now - taller than the kids in some areas. The boys like to sneak up like a tiger in the tundra and scare me. Yesterday, I was taking a picture of Eli and Finn attempted to scare me. Randomly, I turned around right as he was coming close and when I saw him I startled him and yelled something like "You sneaker! Dont even think about it." He was overcome with giggles and I got this shot of him running away after being caught. His face smiling...it kills me.

I shared with the boys my dream a few weeks ago. I want to buy that field and make it a neighborhood park. I dont have a chance in hell of getting the money it takes to buy such a large parcel of land in Southern California, but if I had a million dollars Id buy that field so that houses could never be built on it. You can actually see the ocean from the top of the field. Can you imagine how much its worth? Once bought, Id take one small area of the field and dedicate it to garden space. We could build some planting boxes and glow our own veggies and fruits for the neighborhood to enjoy. Kind of like a co-op of sorts. The rest of the field would remain wild. We might put a dirt path so its easier to get around to certain parts, but basically it would be left the way it is. I might also make a short wall out of stones and rocks and ceramics and old tile near the street. We could put sign on it so people would know this is our neighborhood park and to pick up their trash and dog poop.

I better start playing the lottery. :)
Happy Friday.

Me Gusta! - Mrs. Meyers Handsoap in Lemon Verbena Scent

Last year I got to spend some time up in the Central Coast with my lifelong friend, Scarano. She had me and a few of our friends come up and stay with her for a wonderful girls weekend in Santa Maria. Scarano (who's name is actually Jennifer Scarano, but Ive always referred to her as Scarano) has the type of home I love. Its small and comfy. Its got great windows and lots of light. She painted all the rooms in different, vibrant colors. Her guest room is a deep blue and when you sleep in it, it feels like you're sleeping under a midnight sky. Her backyard is also awesome with a wonderful, intimate patio area off the back door. Since Ive left, Scarano has turned her front yard into a "hippie garden." She grows all sorts of organic veggies and fruits out there for the entire neighborhood to view. Her home exudes unique personality.

While I was at Scarano's last Spring, she had a certain type of handsoap in her bathroom: Mrs Meyers CleanDay Liquid Handsoap. I fell in love with the scent immediately. For more than a year, I have casually kept a look out for the Lemon Verbena variety in the various stores I regularly frequent. Vons. Trader Joes. Frazier Farms, etc. Then, last week I was in Target and found the handsoap. SCORE! Target has carried Mrs. Meyers products for a while, but I had never found the Lemon Verbena handsoap among the aisles. When I saw the soap, I quickly bought two bottles and when I brought it home I was positively gleeful to find that scent back on my hands.

Lately, I find excuses to go in the kitchen and wash my hands. The smell is so beautiful to me.

Happy Thursday.

Jumping On the Chalkboard Bandwagon!

I frequent design blogs often and over the past several years chalkboard paint has emerged as a big, style trend. Whenever I see it used in homes, Im always drawn to it. But then my practical side (which usually stays dormant most of the year) weighs in. "I could never do that," it says. On any given day, my house is quite messy. Our home is very "lived in" and along with the wear and tear of our family of four is cat hair, dirt, dust and clutter. Although I love how chalkboard paint looks, the idea of chalk residue on the floors and on the walls is something that was hard for me to reconcile. I had convinced myself it couldnt be done. Not in our house.

Then something crazy happened. In late January during an uneventful weekend, I threw away reason and impulsively painted a small area of our house with chalkboard paint. It was rash and impulsive - totally an ADHD move. ha ha! In my fantasies, there was only one place I could see me using chalkboard paint: in the foyer of our backdoor. We are one of those weird families who never uses the front door; we use the back. Most of our family clutter like jackets, bookbags, umbrellas, hats and shoes end up there. Its a small space and it still had the original flat paint from when we bought our house 11 years ago. Undeniably, the back door foyer is the most used part of our house.

Like I said before, I didnt think much of what I was doing at the time. Im not sure I even asked Matt's permission. I think I believed I would lose my nerve if I didnt seize the opportunity while the inspiration was hot. Throwing caution to the wind, I jumped in with two feet and began painting with very little prep.


You know what? I love it.This little home project took less than a day to do and it has made such a world of a difference in that yucky little foyer. Every time I spy the chalk in that room, I smile and feel grateful. One of the coolest things about the chalkboard walls is that the boys, Matt, and other family members have begun to write things on the wall too. Recently, when Matt left for a week in Virigina he wrote "I love you" as a parting gesture above the doorway. I wrote on the wall "I love Matt, Seamus and Finn" and a few weeks ago it made me smile super big to see that someone (Im assuming it was my sister, though it doesnt look like her writing) extended the sentiment and wrote "Dama Shan, Eli and Abbey" alongside their names. Seamus wrote "Have a nice day" above the back door and everytime I leave our house I see it and smile.


So why am I sharing this? For one, Im proud of how it turned out. I wont lie - part of this post is pure boasting on my part. But Im also sharing this on the blog today because I really didnt think this would be something I would ever do. I had convinced myself that chalkboard paint wouldnt work in my house. But you know what? It DOES work. Im pretty jazzed that I took that leap into the unknown and it paid off.

Happy Tuesday. :)