I think I can... I think I can... I think I can...

So... for Lent I gave up diet coke.

This is a huge thing for me and something I hope will continue through the 40 days of Lent and beyond. Ive been drinking diet coke almost daily since I was a teenager. I drink on average about 4-6 a day. I cant believe I just admitted that. Uggggh. Its not a good habit and Im not proud of myself. Lately, Ive come to the realization that I have a serious problem.

When I hear myself talk and I look at my behavior I truly believe I am addicted to diet coke. In my defense, Im pretty confident there is something bad in it... like, beyond the obvious stuff. I think there is something sinister in it; something elicit they're not talking about. Im being serious! Conspiracy theories aside, it doesnt take a brain surgeon to realize that when a liquid is brown, fizzing and includes phosphoric acid, it cant be good for your body. I know this. In my head Ive known this for years and yet its been sooooo hard for me to give it up. The times that Ive tried to break away from dc, my body goes through major withdrawals. I get serious headaches for the first 72 hours. My body craves it badly. But mostly, I think its my head that cant let it go. Yep. Im sure its mostly in my head.

Some bad facts about me and diet coke:

- I "chain drink." Yes, this sounds similar to "chain smoking." It is in fact the same. Often when Im drinking dc I will drink one can after the other without really thinking about it. I just do it. Before I know it, Ive consumed a six pack. Not good.

- I almost always drink in habitual, everyday situations. Like when I get in the car, I drink diet coke. When I sit down at the computer, I drink diet coke. When I get up in the am, I drink a diet coke. When I scrap, I drink diet coke. Im not thirsty - its jut a bad habit.

-I drink diet coke when Im stressed or bored. I drink diet coke for emotional reason. Recently my friend was going through some tough times and as I was talking to her and listening to her, I found myself really wanting a diet coke. Again... I wasnt thirsty. I just found myself wanting one.... badly.I actually found myself going to the fridge to get a diet coke, only to stop myself as I was reaching for the door.

-I dont even like how it tastes. I never have.

-Ive been watching this reality show on VH1 called Sober House. Its about recovering drug and alcohol addicts as they cope with sobriety. When I hear them talk, I can relate. This has been a huge reality check for me. Instead of meth or alcohol or cocaine, my addiction is diet coke.

There it is again: Im addicted to diet coke. My body is definitely addicted, but mostly its my mind. I think drinking it is very damaging to my health but mostly I dont like it having so much power over me. That is wrong. Im stronger than that! Im going to start off with Lent and we'll see where it goes from there.

Wish me luck.