I hope...A New Beginning

I hope and pray... a new beginning.
More later.

Ok. Im back.
What a day. I wish could sit back and watch the days events at my leisure, but I was out of my house a lot of the day. I tivoed most of the Inauguration festivities but I havent gotten to watch it all yet. Maybe I will tomorrow.

Everyone who knows me knows that I have not been a supporter of the Bush Presidency. I voted for Obama (and Gore and Kerry before him.) I wanted a change badly when Obama started his election bid in '07. As I watched our new president deliver his speech today, it resonated with me. Obama often evokes imagery and speaks of issues in his speeches that are important to me: equality for everyone; hope over fear and religious ideology; tolerance for all people - regardless of their sex or religion or race or sexual orientation. These are core values of mine. Equality. Tolerance. Hope.

But today I felt no anger towards Bush. In fact, as I watched him this morning I felt a bizarre, detached affection towards him. This was a very interesting realization for me. Why did I wince when the people at Andrews Air Force base booed him? Why did I feel shame when the crowd sang "Na na na na... na na na na .. hey hey hey... goodbye." Hmmmm. This was all very interesting to me. Maybe I felt this way because Bush didnt feel like my president anymore. Today Bush was just another human being - albeit an extraordinary human being - among the dignitaries . He appeared gracious and kind towards Obama and Michelle. He seemed humbled by the outpouring of support for our new 44th president. There seemed to be a very simple dignity about the way he conducted himself today and I really respected that. It couldn't have been easy.

Its 10pm and Ive had some time to reflect on the days events. Im beginning to think that maybe what I experienced today is similar to what I experienced when I gave birth to Seamus. Having my first born child was agony. He was 10 days late. I had to be induced and was juiced up with drugs that made my body do what it refused to do on its own. I labored all day and pushed for almost 2 hours straight. Seamus refused to come. As I threw up my arms and screamed "I cant do it anymore. GET HIM OUT OF ME!" I was beyond despair. I was in hell. They took him from me with a vaccuum and I fell asleep instantly with extreme exhaustion. When I woke up a short few minutes later, I was struck with the unmistakable realization that I was a parent. I was somebody's mother - Seamus' mother. Right then and there, the miracle of childbirth happened. Somehow, as I held my brand new son in my arms, all that pain and exhaustion of giving birth melted away. My body was tired and sore, but all I could feel was a humbling sense of gratefulness and warmth. The pain was gone - vanished - and in its place was Seamus. He was wroth it all. Even today, i know in my head that what I experienced was beyond horrible, but in my heart I cant seem to feel any of it. Joy replaced the pain.

I think the same thing happened today. The past 8 years have been hard on me. Its been hard on my heart. Its been hard on my family. Its been hard on my identity as an American. I know all of this in my head. And yet today as I watched Barack Hussein Obama sworn into office, I felt very healed in my heart. Gone was the hurt. Gone was the sting of the past. Im ready to move on. Im ready for something new. I feel hope.

I also feel almost afraid for Obama. He's just a man... a slight one at that. And yet he has the weight of so many expectations on his shoulders.

God bless him. I hope and pray this is a new start for our nation.