No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was a tough day for Finn. He's so sensitive about stuff. He definitely got that from me.

When I picked him up from school yesterday, he was in tears. He can be quite dramatic and its often hard to figure out what is a legitimate problem and what is something that can be smoothed over with rational discussion. When I asked what was wrong he sobbed, "I have tooooooo much homework, Mama. Its not fair! Its too stressful for me! I need a break!" He had two and a half pages of doubled sided homework and he had to cover his Reading book. If you ask me, five pages is a lot for a second grader, but that amount of work is not typical. Usually he has three pages of work - four at the most. I think what threw him yesterday was the double sided sheet of 100 math facts. It looked like a lot - even to me. He was really upset.

The homework takes Finn some time to finish, but I dont believe its particularly difficult for him. It doesnt take more than 45 minutes to do. Usually he spends more time complaining about his homework than actually doing it. The problem that I see happening is that Finn will compare his homework to Seamus'. Seamus is in fifth grade and gets way more homework than Finn, but Shea's teacher allows him to get it done in class. Finn's teacher doesnt. Most days, Seamus will come home with the majority of his homework done and that infuriates Finn. He doesnt feel its fair and frankly its not. But you know, life's not fair. My mom used to say it to me every single day of my life and I hated it. But she was right. Life is not fair. You need to learn to adapt to life's disappointments. It doesnt take the sting away, but it keeps you from feeling bitter and hardened. I tried to explain this to Finn, but at 8 years old and in his emotional state he really wasnt getting it.

But then he started rambling on about mean people. (((insert heavy sigh here))) His conversation started with complaints about homework and segued into a rant about mean people. I listed off pretty much every boy in class. "Was _____ mean?" Every time Finn would reply "no." Finally there was only one boy left and he is mean. I know his name well and Ive seen him in action. He's not a nice kid and he's especially not nice to Finn. "Mean kid" has the attitude of a teenager and in typical form, he is also the ring leader for many of the boys in his grade. Its almost like a movie isn't it? Like a bad cliche.

So there it is. The mean kid. Generations and generations of schools have them, but that doesnt make it right. I wish I were confident that if I went to the teacher/school and spoke up about my concerns that something would be done about it, but Im not. So instead, I try to teach Finn to stick up for himself when confronted and avoid the kid when possible. I share with him that as an adult, I avoid mean people all the time - everyday in fact. Life is too damn short to spend time dealing with jerks. Mean people are like viruses - they infect everything they come in touch with. Its better to just avoid them. Then I tell him that if it gets too rough with the "mean kid," that he should go to an adult and say something.

But in actuality, what I really want is for that kid to leave the school. What do they say about one bad apple in a barrel? I am certain that his class would be more cohesive without that kid in it.