Love the One You're With

You know that Stephen Stills song "Love the One You're With?" Ive never understood that song. I dont listen to lyrics very intently. Ninety-eight percent of the time, I hook into the melody of a song, not the lyrics. But even I noticed the words to "Love The One You're With."

"If you're down and confused
And you dont remember who you're talking to
Concentraction slips away
Cause your baby is so far away
Well there's a rose in a the fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you cant be with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with."

I totally dont get all that "rose in fisted glove" stuff. I was never that great at deciphering and decoding poetry. But it seems to me like this song is an anthem for irresponsible behavior. Maybe its that free love thing of the late 60s and early 70s? Perhaps I need to think of it within that context? Or maybe its just a bad boy rocker's excuse for getting it on with groupies while his wife is at home with the kids. Regardless of the intent, the lyrics have never really sat well with me.

Recently, however, I thought of this song in reference to family - not romantic opportunities. This new revelation wasnt prompted by my own feelings of family, but by my impression of Seamus' attitude toward family. A lot of the times, Shea seems like he would rather be any other place in the world than with me and Finn. He's argumentative. He's grouchy. He's not always kind. As I was sitting around thinking of this, it occurred to me that he probably has some fantasy type mom tucked away in his head. His fantasy mom is all the things Im not - she lets him leave his stuff everywhere; she never tells him what to do;she doesnt nag him to write neatly; she doesnt make him go to school. I think fantasizing about a mom you dont have is natural so I dont take it personally. I remember when my mom and I would have arguments, I would fantasize about the mother type things I wish she would do, but never did. The big difference between Seamus and me is that even when I was young and stupid, I knew I had it good. Im sad to admit, I dont believe Seamus feels the same.

These were my thoughts recently. I was in my room and I was thinking of Seamus dreaming of this fantasy mom. That's when Stephen Stills lyrics came to me and for a minute, I actually understood them. They made sense!

"Dont be angry - dont be sad
Dont sit crying over the good times you've had
There's a girl right next to you
And she's just waiting for something to do.
Well there's a rose and fisted glove
And eagle flies with the dove
And if you cant be with the one you love, Seamus
Love the one you're with."

;) Happy Tuesday.
xo