Goodbye 2011!

I have never been so happy to say goodbye to a year as I am in regards to 2011. My fortieth year has not been kind.

-My dad died. My godmother/aunt died.
Heavy, heavy stuff. Fact: my heart is not the same as it was last year. Im not sure it will ever be the same. However, the old adage is true: time is a healer. Each day has been a little easier and the further I get away from Dad's death, the more possible it seems to continue living without him. Sad I suppose, but true. While Im on the topic of death, I went to more funerals this year than I have in any other year of my life. Just off the top of my head, I can count 6 funerals I attended this year. Two thousand and eleven has been a life taker.

What else:
-my family (mom, dad, sisters - not the 4 mcgarveys) went though a lot of yucky, hurtful drama this year.
Im not going to get into too many details but there was a lot of adjusting this year. Our family dynamic changed in more ways than one and the change has not been easy. We lost a key member of our family and gained others. Growing pains. I played a major role in part of the drama and Im not particularly proud of it. It is what it is and believe it or not, some moments I treasure came about on account of the drama. Ive always thought that my family was pretty tight. I question that now. Im realizing more than ever these days that family relationships are much like romantic relationships: it takes honest communication, respect and trust. Contrary to many songs and movies, love is NOT enough. When the communication and trust are missing, the relationship doesnt work. Our family hasnt worked well this year and Im unclear if it will in the future.

-I got a job.
The job thing hasnt been that bad, actually, but it has been a life changer. Im happy to be the PE teacher at my kids' school, but its been a huge sucker of time. Computer time is very limited and Ive lost some core friends because of it. Family time has also been limited. I dont want to think of how many fast food dinners Ive provided my family. Too many. Im grateful, however, for a paycheck and I love my students. They are wonderfully bright, curious and kind. Still... my body aches and hurts at the end of each night. I should have gotten this job 10 years ago. Im not sure I can do this for another 10 years, but right now I can honestly say that I really enjoy my job very much. I get paid to play with kids. I cant complain.

- James
The pearl of this year: my new, baby nephew James. He has been the only true joy 2011 brought. We had to wait until the last month of the year to enjoy his presence, but he is here now and life is good.