My Baby's Back!

photo by Tara Whitney

Matt is home after being gone a week doing the USMC reserves gig. Im so thankful he's home. Ive missed him.

I do not do the single parent thing well. The first week Matt was gone (which was the beginning of the month) went much better than this week. I think the kids being off for the summer and us being together 24/7 made the last eight days a serious endurance test. We did fine, but its not fun. The days are long and the nights are short. My patience, which is in abundance most days, was having a difficult time rounding out the weekend. But we made it and we didnt have any blow ups or huge melt downs. That is a huge accomplishment and Id say about 75% of that credit goes to the boys. They were pretty good to me.

In the shower this morning I was thinking to myself that in our marriage I have done the "single parent thing" pretty close to a solid year when you count up all the time Matt's given to the USMC. I was feeling pretty good about myself - of my strength and ability. Logging in that many "single parent" hours while actually being married is something I can feel pretty resentful about, but I do feel it is an accomplishment too. Odd. I was feeling strangely good about myself for about 15 seconds and then I thought of my cousin Christine. She has three young daughters and her husband has been to Iraq twice (each time for a year) and now is in Afghanistan. It kind of puts things in perspective.

Anyhoo, he's home. We're going to put the kids to sleep in the next 10 minutes and watch a double feature of True Blood tonight. Couple time... gotta love it.

RIP MJ

I couldnt believe the news when I learned of Michael Jackson's untimely death yesterday. I was driving the boys home after playing in the pool when I realized that the radio had played two Jackson 5 songs in a row. I thought it was weird, but even stranger when I realized the station I was listenng to was 94.9. Their format is NOT Michael Jackson. I began to turn the channel and when my preset came upon NPR I heard the news.

I was suprised that I didnt feel conflicted by Michael Jackson's death. The MJ trial where he was accused of child molestation was difficult for me. Ive always loved MJ's songs, but after the trial I didnt feel right enjoying them like I always had. It was weird. I was upset with the accusations and also with the outcome once he was exonerated. I felt then and still feel now that MJ was probably doing things with children he should not have been doing. As a survivor of child molestation, my feelings on his personal life and his songs were difficult to reconcile.

That being said, when I heard yesterday that he was dead it blew my mind! I was so shocked and genuinely sad. Within the hour of his passing, I put on a few of his songs and when I heard his voice I almost began to cry. This totally surprised me, but I think what I have learned through this experience (or better yet, what has been re affirmed for me) is that music can bridge all hurt. Its a universal healer. Since hearing of MJ's death I have not been conflicted at all. Instead, I mourn the great musical talent his was.

In my house and heart, MJ will be remembered for his music. When I spoke to my kids about it yesterday I didnt mention the allegations and trial. I didnt feel it was necessary. Instead I mentioned that while he was not a normal man - a little on the freaky side - he was a real musical genius and I am grateful for the music he made. I hope his music will be his legacy.



BTW... I can do most of those moves in the Thriller video. Oh yes... I pride myself on that. :)
Happy Friday.

Busy Weekend

Last Friday we had our first summer bonfire. It was overcast and a little chilly at first, but the night ended up fun as usual. The boys were looking forward to it for days and many of our good friends were able to join us. We always have our bonfires at Del Mar Beach on Camp Pendleton. The beach is very large but not very populated. There are lots of activities for the kids to do: the water, the jetty, the crabs, the playground. It was great to allow the boys some freedom with their friends without feeling constantly stressed about their safety.

The following day we drove up to Whittier to celebrate a special milestone with my extended family: Aiden's high school graduation. Aiden is the son of my cousin Rosalind and her husband Dean. He is the first great grandchild in my family and the first to graduate from high school. A bunch of family got together at Roz and Dean's house to celebrate and we had SUCH a great time. Roz and Dean always throw the best parties. Here is a pic of Aiden.

I have a pretty large family - one that I treasure very much. When I was young, we would get together with my aunts, uncles and cousins regularly. Now that we are all grown up with our own families, its rare that we are all in the same place at once. There are just too many of us to coordinate. That is why occasions like Aiden's graduation are so important to me. For big milestones and religious celebrations I can bet that most of my family will attend. Aiden's party was like that. There were lots of us there and it was a fantastic feeling to hang with people I love and watch our children play into the night. I wish we did it more often. Here are some more pics:




I love that last one of my nephew and his cousins. It makes me want to get together with all them again very soon.

Happy Thursday. :)

Dont Stop The Music.

I slept in today. I have been going to bed super late so its nice to get a few extra winks come morning. The boys are finally at an age where they can get up on their own and get ready for the day. I never thought we'd get to this point. Over the years, Ive heard lots of stories from my friends about their independently minded children. I have two friends who's children get up and make eggs for their siblings. I have another who has an 8 year old who will make his bed and brush his teeth first thing each morning. Most of my friends have kids that are quiet while their parents sleep. That has never been a reality for me and Matt until very recently. Im grateful. Little by little, my boys are finally growing up.

This morning, among constant "shhhhh-ing" sounds, I was awakened by music. Not a bad way to wake up had the song not been Twisted Sister's "We're Not Going To Take It." ha ha Im totally serious; that was the first thing I heard this morning. While it may be an odd choice for most people, it makes sense to me. Dee Snyder's teen anthem song is on the short list of "Seamus Favorites." To my sons' credit, the song wasnt blasting; it was playing at a respectably low decibel level. Seamus was singing the chorus with convincing fervor, though Im positive he doesnt really understand what the song is about.

Once Twisted Sister was over, the song was replaced by "Dont Stop Believing" by Journey. I have no idea how or why this song has become so popular with my kids. I should do a scrapbook page about it because it really is the song "de jour" for Seamus and many of his friends. If you gave him my ipod today and told him to play one song, he would choose this Journey song. Im pretty sure of it. Both boys will sing it from start to finish but Seamus, in particular, will sing it with feeling. Its pretty cute and humorous for me to see/hear.

The songs that followed Journey were as follows:
Greenday - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Johnny Pearson -The Theme Song from Monday Night Football
Van Halen - Panama
Bon Jovi - Living on A Prayer
Bon Jovi - Dead or Alive

Clearly my kids have interesting tastes in music. While Im prideful of the Van Halen song, a couple of the others make me wince a bit. I wonder if this is how my dad felt when I was in my Duran Duran stage during 7th grade.

Oh well... at least they're listening to music. That is a blessing. I love that they roam through my ipod and play their favorites with freedom. It reminds me of when Jennifer and I were young and we would play my dad's records. I can only hope that the music will stay with Seamus and Finn like it has for me and Jen.

Happy Wednesday. :)

Challenge at 2peas

If you are scrapping inclined I have a challenge over in the Education board at twopeasinabucket.com. I made a minbook with a friend theme and for the rest of the week, you can submit your own friend themed minibook and be included in a drawing to win some fun product. You can find more information here. To view more pages of my book you can click here.

I made this album for my friend Tina and it includes lots of picture of her kids and mine. I modeled it after another mini book I made recently about the boys' first year at St Francis School.

If you're interested in seeing more you can buzz over to twopeasinabucket.com and view some of the pages.

Happy Father Day, Matt!

Happy Fathers Day, Matt. Your father's day hasnt started off the best, but I assure you it will be a good one. We love you mucho and appreciate everything you do. :)
photo by Tara Whitney

The Romantic In Me Surfaced This Morning

How sweet is this? This guy got creative and proposed to his lady in a photo booth. ((((swoon)))) So adorable... and clever.
In other news, we're gearing up for our "beginning of the summer" bonfire with friends tonight. I'm taking stuff to make pizza pockets and smores. Im taking my new blanket I got at a thrift store for $2. Im taking some alcohol. And Im taking my camera. Should be fun.

Happy Friday, everyone.

Real Life + Fantasy Life

Real life:
We're rounding out of first full week of summer here in Casa de McGarvey. I must figure out a schedule for these kids soon or they will be happy to lounge around on the couch with their ds gameboys all day long. That cant happen. The problem is, Im not a "schedule person" myself. The planning involved in this kind of pursuit alludes me - or at the least, doesnt come naturally. I have to work at it. I fully realize a schedule is needed, though. I think I might pow wow with a few of my more organized friends (and siblings) and get some suggestions.

Yesterday Seamus and Finn lost all videogame privileges because of their nighttime shenanigans around bedtime. No videogames means no ds gameboys, no wii and no computer. Unplugged. This was no problem for Seamus. He likes videogames, but he doesnt need them. Seamus also had a date golfing with Papa for about four hours yesterday afternoon so his day was fully occupied. Finn, on the other hand, has quite an addiction. He loves his videogames. Its a problem actually and I have to monitor him constantly or he will play videogames all day long. However, Im happy to report he survived the day fantastically! I was very proud of him. He didnt even bug me too much about getting online or checking his ds. Hurray Finner! Activities Finn did instead of playing videogames: legos, playing in Seamusland, paper airplanes, reading. Nice. Below is a pic of Finner reading on the couch. Isnt it sooooo Norman Rockwell? I love it!


Fantasy Life:
I have been jonesing HARD for an outdoor fireplace. I know right? Totaly fantasy stuff. But man... if Matt and I could build one of these and make a small lounging area outside, life would be so wonderful! For those who dont know, we live in a very small house:1,200 square feet. It doesnt take many bodies to make you feel like the walls are closing in. The truth is, I like small houses and over the past several years I have come to peace with the fact that I will live and die in this small house. I dont need to add on. There was a time I thought it was necessary, but not now. There are so many things I adore about this place. Its my dream house in many ways.

That being said, our house is tiny - even for a family of four. We dont have air conditioning so it also gets very hot in the summer. It is extremely difficult to have people over given the natural constraints of our house. Having an outdoor fireplace is the beginning of expanding our house outdoors. The room we dont have indoors, we can create outdoors. We have the yard and we have good weather. Building an outdoor living space is the natural solution to living in a tiny house!

I have these fantasy images in my mind: my mother in law coming out and the three of us spending hours late at night talking in front of the fireplace. Friends coming over and us serving al fresco meals in the outdoors. My boys inviting their friends over for late night merriment in our back yard. Family gatherings at our house for a change.

Alas, we have no money and no skill in actually making an outdoor fireplace. I have the initiative to make it myself if I had a book or some plans telling me how. I hate to stress Matt out with my "fantasy life" but I honestly think that this is a really good idea. Dont you?

Seamus + Flour = Bread

At the beginning of this past school year, Seamus participated in a math lesson where his 5th grade class made pretzels. I think the lesson might have been dealing with fractions, but Im not exactly sure. Ever since that day, Shea has been quite interested in making bread. A couple times a month, he will come home with a hankering to bake. Its been a year of trial and error for him but he's finally created a recipe that is quite good. None of his recipe is written down. He keeps it in his head and improvises on it from time to time. I know as his mom Im supposed to over exaggerate the merits of my son, but believe me when I say his bread is quite good. Once you get started, its very hard to stop eating it.

His bread is typically "heavier" than average. Its dense and it soaks up spaghetti sauce quite nicely. Seamus bakes his bread in a pan and the top of the bread forms a hard, buttery shell. If you eat it while its still hot, it melts in your mouth.

Last night, we were eating Barb's spaghetti and meatball recipe so I asked Seamus if he'd like to make us bread for dinner. He amiably obliged and I got this cute picture of him doing his thing. I love seeing him cook like this. He reminds me of his dad when I see him so focused in the kitchen. I hope he grows in his culinary interests. A man who can cook is a joy to all who know him.

Where For Art Thou, Bookshelves?

"I will find you. No matter how long it takes. No matter how far. I will find you!"

More Boy Stuff

Im scrapping tonight and I came across this picture of the boys and their best friends the Huelsmans: James, Jeremy and Ryan. I honestly dont know whether to laugh or cringe when I see this picture. Uggggh. Such is life with boys, I guess.

Penguins Win Stanley Cup!!!

I cant stop watching the highlights from last nights game. It makes me sooooo happy to see the Penguins celebrate winning the Stanley Cup. I was on the edge of my seat watching game 7 last night. In the last few seconds, I could feel my heart pounding in my throat - adrenaline pumping. DAMN it felt good to see these kids win! I dont even watch hockey. Im not a hockey fan. Heck, I didnt even know who Mario Lemieux was before I met Matt in the mid 1990s. But Matt is a Penguins fan and we've watched our share of Penguin games over the years. We watched the Pens lose last year to the Red Wings which made it all the more exciting to watch them WIN in GAME 7 in DETROIT last night. YESSSSSSSSSSSS!
This is a favorite image. I saw it this morning and started beaming:

And this one too:

Note To Self

print from laurageorge's etsy shop - here
The weather has been so crappy the past few weeks: overcast and cloudy. I dont like it, but I might just heed this advice today.
Happy Friday. :)

Boys Will Be Boys

Back in the beginning of May, Miranda and my mom took the boys to the Renaissance Fair. Ive never been, but apparently it is great fun for anyone who is even remotely into castles, knights, dragons and sword playing. Uh... can we say my two boys? Finn went last year while Seamus had a baseball game. He dressed up in and old Halloween costume and had an absolute ball. This year both got to got to go. After 2.5 hours away, Seamus and Finn were dropped back home with smiles on their faces and weapons in their hands.

As can be expected, the boys immediately went to work on each other. Apparently they saw lots of cool sword fighting moves at the Ren Fair and were eager to dominate each other with their mad skills. The fighting didnt stop for a couple days. Along with a plastic sword Finn got a wooden shield so naturally he was stuck playing defense to Seamus' offensive, 4 foot wooden sword. It was hardly a fair fight, but for the most part the boys played good. There were a few tears here and there but no injuries and no blood. That is always a good thing.


By day two, Matt got in on the action. I think he might have initially engaged because Finn was getting pretty beat up. Finn wanted to stop far sooner than Seamus was ready, but given that Seamus is the big brother he muscled Finn into playing way beyond what he considered fun. I believe that Matt's original thought was to challenge Seamus as a means of allowing Finn a break. However, within seconds Matt was getting far too much enjoyment in his role playing. For anyone who doesnt know, Matt is totally into "castle, knights, dragons and sword playing" stuff too. The three of them (Finn ran right back into the fray once Dadoo joined) ran around the yard yielding their swords and attacking each other until the sun went down. Crazy boys!

Can We... Shall We?

I saw this print by Rob Ryan in his etsy shop and it really touched me.

Confession time: after 14 years with Matt I often dream of running away, just the two of us. Selfish indulgence. I dream of us taking long road trips together. I dream of exploring new places and cultures together. I dream of running away from the responsibilities of being parents and just focusing on the needs and wants of one another. I cant figure out if my confession is a good thing or a bad thing. It sounds a little sad when I contemplate it in my heart. It feels like maybe something is lacking in my life. But on the other hand I think its pretty awesome that after many years together, I still crave time alone with my husband. He is still my favorite person in the world. I also feel encouraged that I have retained my sense of adventure, despite the fact that I live in the same town where I grew up. My life maybe centered here in Vista, but I long to see more of what this country and world have to offer... with Matt, of course.

In 2007, Matt and I escaped from our kids, work, home and responsibilities and ran away for 16 days to Italy. I swear, it seems unreal and so not my life that I can actually write that. We packed enough memories in that trip for a lifetime: holding hands walking the streets in Rome; viewing great works of art and historical architecture; eating pasta across from the Pantheon; taking long walks through the hills of Tuscany. It was like another world, a parallel universe that I somehow slipped into during a time warp. And while I am still soooo filled up and grateful for that unforgettable time with Matt I also think its ruined me because I ache for more. Before Italy, I never felt like I could hope to get away with my husband - not for a weekend, let alone more. I never felt entitled to time alone with him. That wasnt my life. That was someone else's life. And to be honest, I was contented with that. My life was being the mom of two young, active boys. My life was busy and full with volunteering at their school and taking them to baseball practices and attending soccer games and making doctor appointments. My life didnt afford time alone with my husband that extended past the hour or two we got once the kids were asleep in bed. My life was grounded at home - totally centered on my family. It still is.

But someday, maybe soon, Matt and I can get away again. Maybe just a weekend or maybe something a little more. I dont know. Just because a person is approaching 40 years old doesnt mean she cant dream any more right? I have dreams... boy do I! ;)

Happy Friday.

Layout Shares

Just a quick couple layouts. These can be seen at twopeasinabucket.com

Inside my Head

by Lisa McGarvey

-we had SUCH a busy weekend and I didnt have my camera along for any of it. It was a strangely liberating feeling and yet i feel sad I dont have any pictures.

-kids are home today. Its a Monday. I must get them on a schedule for summer or we are in HUGE trouble.

-I am breaking out like a teenager - acne that almost looks like hives on my jaw line and on identical, symmetrical places between my nose and mouth. Jennifer says its hormonal. Its super embarrassing. Its worse than anything I had as a teenager. Nice that my 20 year reunion is coming up in a month.

- I just had to tell Finn for the second time in less than three minutes to clean his room. He's turning on the water works now. I just gave him a line that made me feel like my mom. I said "Finn, Im not interested in what you want to do. Im telling you to clean it now."

-Must go shopping at TJ's and grocery store soon. We're out of milk.

- Seamus is in his room for an hour. He a.) took something I told him 30 seconds before to leave alone b.) hid it in his room so I wouldnt find it and then c.) talked back to me and tried to shut the door of his room on my face when I was chastising him about it. Any advice on this particular incident is invited. I cant keep him in the room forever.

-Finn is now totally crying in his room in an effort not to clean it. (((sigh)))

-There are times (like now) when I truly feel I would love to throw away everything in my house and start over. The big and small stuff: things like the bright green duct tape sitting here next to me on the desk; the bar stools that are breaking; the big leather chair with all the cat scratch marks all over it; the cheap cowboy hats the kids won at the parish fair yesterday; the loads of random papers sitting on my counter. I think I would feel so much lighter with all of it gone - even the photos. Everything! Gone! POOF! Well... not the computers (where the photos are housed.) And not the kids' artwork. And not the books. Im sure there is more Id want to save - but not much.

((span of about 1:30 minutes has gone by))

- Seamus and I have talked about the stealing and disrespect. He was receptive and seemed sincerely sorry. Baby steps.

-Finn's room is clean. I had to help a bit.

- Ooooh Neil Diamond just came on the ipod! "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show." This song is cracking me up and making me want to shake my ass a bit. Its got such a 70s beat to it. HA! I love the way the ipod can just shuffle around and pick out random songs from my music library. I havent heard this song in a billion years.

-Im getting the itch to get a bookshelves for the front rooms again. The boys have no more room for their books and I refuse to get rid of any. Im going to have to rearrange and get rid of furniture in order to accommodate shelves in our living/dining room area. Ugggh. Too much to deal with right now. We dont have the cash either. However, I dream about having a room like this one:

Ok... Im off to TJ's.
Happy Monday. :)