Say Nope to Dope and Ugg to Drugs

This week is Red Ribbon Week at the boys' school. They make a pledge to not do drugs and do activities throughout the week to reinforce their vow to a drug free life. Each day of the week the kids are able to stray away from their rigid uniform policy and celebrate the no drugs agenda in a fun, outward way. Monday was "Shade out Drugs" and the kids were encouraged to wear sunglasses to school. Thursday is "Put a Cap On Drugs" and the kids can wear crazy hats to school. Today's theme was "Team Up Against Drugs" and the kids were told they could wear jeans and a team jersey to school.

You know what our boys wore right?

That's right - Steeler jerseys. Finn was all for it. He was all excited to get his Polamalu jersey on. Seamus was different. At first he wanted to wear his soccer jersey from last year. This struck both Matt and me as odd, but we knew he was serious when he tore through his wardrobe looking for the jersey. He couldn't find it. Next he decided he would wear his Arizona Diamondback jersey from his last year's little league team. This was definitely strange to me so I asked "Whats going on, Shea? We have your Steeler jersey right here. Is there some reason you dont want to wear it?" He told me "no" and put on the Steeler jersey without complaint or resistance.

On the way to school we talked about the days events. I told the boys I was sure they would get some grief about their Steeler jerseys (they did last year during Red Ribbon Week) but I reminded them to be respectful and not gloat. Our record and history stands for itself; there was no reason to talk smack. The Chargers lost last night and I figured that their Charger loving classmates might be vocal at them for wearing Steeler jerseys. I told them it was ok - that it was understandable, but to keep their heads up high. There was absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. And that's when Seamus piped in:

"But we like the Chargers too, right Mama? Its not like we arent Charger fans. Its not like Im happy if they lose. I want them to win too."

I agreed with him. The three of us have been and are being raised in San Diego. Of course we like the Chargers, but the Steelers are our team. That apparently wasnt what Seamus wanted to hear so he continued:

"I mean, the only time that I dont root for the Chargers is when they play the Steelers. Thats the only time. Otherwise, I want the Chargers to win too. I watched the game last night; I like the Chargers."

Wow. This was an illuminating conversation for me. I never knew Seamus thought this way about the Chargers. I mean, we are Steeler people. Not just regular fans either- we are super fans. Seamus watches every game with us. He knows the players. He knows the coach. He knows the Rooneys. He gets it. But after a few minutes it dawned on me that what he was feeling and talking about is totally characteristic of a typical middle schooler. In middle school, most kids dont want to stand out - they want to blend in. They want to feel included in their social group. They want to feel homogeneous. Seamus showing up at school today in his Steeler jersey stands out big time and its possible that he doesnt like how that feels. He's different from the many Charger jersey wearing kids in his class and given his strong personality, it never occurred to me that he might not like how that feels. It never occurred to me that my confident little boy might not know how to deal with those conflicting feelings - of wanting to feel included, but also loving something that is different.

Im going to have to revisit this topic with him later. Id love to talk to him more about it, without him getting all uncomfortable. Poor Seamus. Sometimes I get the impression that he would rather talk to ANYONE but me about "heavy stuff", but "me" is what he's got.

Happy Tuesday.