You Better Watch Out... You Better Not Cry

We got our traditional Santa picture with the cousins the weekend before Christmas: Seamus, Abbey, Eli and Finn.

I love this picture so much. I especially like it because last year Seamus wasnt in the Santa picture. He was having a bad day - one of many. As I remember it, he was being exceptionally mouthy, stubborn and disrespectful. In frustration I told him "You know what, Shea? You're not going this year unless you change your behavior. Ive had it!" As soon as I said it I wanted to grab those words and stuff them back in my mouth, but it was too late. Shea retorted with "I dont care" so we took the picture without him. I left him at home with Matt and my sister and I took the kids to the mall. I remember walking in the JC Pennys parking lot towards the mall wishing I could take it back and have him in the picture, but it was too late. He wanst in the picture and I felt really conflicted about if I made the right decision.

This year when we pulled out our framed Santa pictures from the Christmas boxes, Seamus asked me "Where am I in this picture?" It was the one from last year - the one with just Finn, Abbey and Eli. I had to remind him of what happened - he had honestly forgotten. I think he felt embarrassed and a little bummed out that he wasnt in the picture. What a difference a year makes because THIS year, Seamus was totally helpful and agreeable as we prepared to take our annual Santa picture. I could not have asked for a more pleasant and helpful son... honestly. As much as it hurts to see that 08 Santa picture without him, I think he learned his lesson.

Dont they all look like siblings? When I first saw this picture my uterus contracted with longing. This could have been my life - four kids. (((sob))) Gosh...I really need to give up the fantasy. I may have always wanted four kids, but Im positive we're good with our two boys. I feel blessed.

Happy Tuesday.