"Cheer up, Charlie. Give Me A Smile."

Finner had a rough day today. When I say rough, I mean my boy broke down during class and began to cry over something he viewed as unfair. From that one disappointment, Finn spiraled into a full blown pity party. It wasnt good. Coincidently, I was the volunteer nurse at school today. When Finn got upset, I knew about it very quickly. A couple of his classmates told me. This is what happened:

Today was the day when the third graders finally "graduated" to using pen on their school work. Most of the class "passed," but there were about 6 students who had to continue writing in pencil until their penmanship in cursive became consistently neat. Finn was one of those 6 students. This was devastating to him. When I talked to him during lunch, he told me how much he was looking forward to writing in pen and how unfair he felt it was that he couldnt do it with the rest of the class. I had actually heard him talk about the day he would get to write in pen so I understood this let down to be sincere. Unfortunately for Finn, the set back in handwriting snowballed into him lamenting every disappointment he had encountered today and there were a few. I must admit that hearing of his troubles made me sad too.

First there was his oral book report. The 3rd graders were to tell a brief summary of their book and then they had to answer from 8 previewed questions. The students could not be asked more than 5 questions each and according to Finn every kid had lots of questions from the class, except for him. Only three classmates asked him questions and this left him feeling, in his own words, "uncared for." Next, he recounted for me what happened at recess. Everyday when teams are chosen for soccer, Finn is picked last or second to last. Although I have never been chosen last for a team sport, I could feel his pain. Most days he is somehow able to shrug off his hurt feelings and play with his classmates; but today it was too much for him to bear. Finn was sobbing when he told me about these two extra incidents. I tried to console him as best I could, but I could totally understand his despondency.

The fact is, my Finn is not a "cool kid" in his school of 20 third graders. He is socially awkward and often times has a hard time fitting in. Although Matt and I tell Finn how wonderful he is and cite to him often his many strengths and talents, the fact is that he, like every kid, wants to feel cool. He wants to feel secure that people like him. He wants to feel secure that his classmates want to be around him. I think that most days, Finn is able to ignore the minutiae that refutes his A status. He has an admirable yet uncanny ability and see the positive that each day ability. But today was rough.

Sometimes, childhood can be hard.

Edited: Matt just told me that my post made him sad and that he wished I had ended it with Finn doing so well on his homework tonight. I thought it was a good idea, so I will.

Ms. Marley, Finn's teacher, told me that she didnt mean to blackball him and the other kids by making them continue to write in pencil. Instead, she felt like it should be viewed as an incentive for them to try harder on their handwriting. As soon as she saw consistent improvement, Finn would be allowed to write in pen. We talked about this at school and Finn understood. Tonight, Finn had two pages of cursive science homework to do. Can we say brutal? Yes. Brutal. My boy sat at our dining table for a real long time meticulously doing his homework. Even Seamus and his crazy antics couldnt distract him from concentrating on his handwriting. When Finn was done, he came in to show me and Matt. He was very proud of his work and when we praised him for his neat handwriting (it really was very neat) he beamed at us. If Finn keeps up the good work, I bet he'll be writing in pen come April.

Happy Monday.