Happy Birthday Lisa!

The first Birthday I spent with Lisa was her 25th. Fourteen years later, Lisa is as great as ever. Like a fine wine, she just gets better with age. This year, we have had some money challenges as I am in the process of getting back on active duty. I thought it might be nice to give Lisa something unique and special this year. I think Lisa loves music as much as I love her. What better way to celebrate her Birthday than to list the songs that most remind me of Lisa and why I love her!

Beatles - Something: On our first date, Lisa and I heard a Beatles song on the radio. While I don't remember the specific song, it sparked a conversation about the kind of music we liked. This song is one that always reminds me of Lisa (it was my ringtone for her). I told her so once and she was surprised by that. I don't think that she thinks of herself in that way, but she gets my heart beating a little faster pretty easily!


Oasis - Wonderwall: Shortly after Lisa and I began dating, we went to her Grandma Betty's for some family event. We rode to Seal Beach with her sister Jen and her boyfriend. On the way up, this song came on and I got to see the music crazy Lisa for the first time. All conversation in the car stopped as she and Jen started acting very strange, bopping to the music and singing out loud. It was as if Tim and I and everything else ceased to exist. I'll admit now that it kind of freaked me out. I'd never seen that side of Lisa before (seems ironic now). Whenever I hear this song, I think of that day...so happy that I married this music freak!

Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar: I could have picked any number of Rolling Stones tunes. Lisa's favorite is probably “Beast of Burden” or maybe “Under My Thumb.” I also should mention that our family has a special place for “You Can't Always Get What You Want” (or as Finn used to sing it as a toddler “You Always Can't Get What You Want”). This one is special to me and reminds me of Lisa every time I hear it. Lisa's skin is white, but her soul is brown. She takes great pride in her Mexican heritage, and she is more than a little jealous that both her sisters look more Mexican than she does. When Lisa started teaching in Oceanside, she would come home and tell me how some of the kids of Mexican descent would assume that she was white and how shocked they were when she not only knew Spanish (better than many of them) but also that she knew (and lived) many of the particulars of Mexican culture. She'd then proceed to call them names in Spanish. Make no mistake Lisa is Mexican and she is my brown sugar!!

Elton John - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues: In April of 1996, I was still on active duty and was deployed on a ship for six months. It was our first time apart. Lisa planted all kinds of surprises for me in my luggage. She had one of her tee shirts with her perfume, little notes here and there, and pictures of us. She also made me a cassette tape (you kids might have to look that one up at wikipedia) to make me think of her. It was chock full of great (albeit sappy) love songs, but this one brought me to tears. In a very short time, we had become best friends and this separation was very difficult. I often think of this as our song.

George Strait - The Man in Love with You: After Lisa had made me a tape for my deployment, I felt compelled to make one of my own. That was a real struggle for two reasons. First, I was on ship and didn't have a lot of music at my disposal. This was in an era before the internet (at least on Navy ships) and iTunes. I had taken a few CDs but had to supplement my collection with what was available on the ship's store (very limited selection). Second, I never really did that kind of thing. Lisa has always been great at making tapes, CDs and playlists for people. Me...not so much. I struggled through it and put together the best collection I could. This song was by far the best one I put on there. It summed up everything I felt then (and still feel) about Lisa. I was and am far from perfect, but the one thing that Lisa can always count on is my love for her.

Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling: I've always loved the Eagles. The music is very peaceful (no pun intended). This one makes the list because Lisa is the first (and only) woman to ever sleep with me in the desert. Every time I hear this song, I think about all the trips that Lisa and I have made to Joshua Tree. I sang this to her there (more than once I'll admit). Our first trip was while we were still dating and since then we have been dozens of times. I used to think Joshua Tree was heaven on earth. I now know that Joshua Tree with Lisa is heaven on earth.

Van Morrison - Into the Mystic : Ask anyone what their favorite Van Morrison song is and about eight (maybe nine) out of ten times they'll tell you it is "Brown-eyed Girl." Not Lisa, not for a minute. As she strongly explained to me when I asked her shortly after we started dating: "I'm NOT a brown-eyed girl!" Instead, "Into the Mystic" is Lisa's favorite Van Morrison song. She told me that she always likes to think that she (like the girl Van sings about in the song) has a gypsy soul. Now anyone who knows Lisa knows that she is not the type of person who wants to move around. She loves her family and she loves her friends too much to stay away for long (as I would find out in a couple years). But deep down inside, I believe my baby has a gypsy soul...it is just that the love for her family and friends is stronger than her romantic notions of roaming form place to place breathing in the world around her.

Sting - My One and Only Love: Our wedding song. This isn't one that many people know. We knew we wanted something unique. Who knew it would be so obscure? You can't even find it on iTunes. It was not on a regular Sting album. Instead it was on the soundtrack for the movie "Leaving Las Vegas" (a terribly depressing movie BTW). I'm not certain, but I think it is possible that sitting in the movie theater might have been the first time that either of us heard this wonderful song. Regardless of when we first heard it, we agreed that it would be our song. Lisa always comments about my dancing skill that night. I honestly don't know where it came from (or where it went afterward), but that night for one song I felt like Fred Astaire dancing with the most beautiful bride I'd ever seen! The very thought of you does make my heart sing Lisa.



Dave Matthews - Crash Into Me: The first year Lisa and I were married was one of the best years of my life. We moved away to Sacramento and explored our new surroundings with the curiosity of two kids set loose on the world. We had so few responsibilities and got to spend hours and hours just enjoying one another. That year holds a very special place in my heart. One day, we went for a walk in the park and Lisa told me how much she loved this song because she thought it was so sexy. As is common with me, I hadn't really ever thought about the lyrics. She recited the lyrics by memory and boy was she right. This song is awfully hot! For some reason, I can't think of that year without this song popping into my head.

George Strait - I'm Carrying your Love with Me: Around Lisa's birthday twelve years ago, we found out that she was pregnant with Seamus. We weren't trying to have a kid yet and it came as a bit of a shock (and he's been surprising us ever since!). We both soon embraced the idea of being parents and that our baby was growing inside Lisa. We were going through a little bit of a country music thing that year and this song was pretty popular. We'd be driving down the road (usually on one of our exploring excursions) and this song would come on. Every single time, Lisa would sing the chorus to me (pretty loudly) and point to her stomach. To this day, if we hear this one, Lisa will remind me how she carried my love with her...twice. How blessed am I?

Aerosmith - I Don't Want to Miss a Thing: Another movie song. Armageddon came out just before Seamus was born and this song became a big hit that year. I remember living in our little apartment in Sycamore Hills and Lisa singing this song to baby Seamus. It was one of the sweetest things. It is hard for me to hear this song without getting a little emotional and remembering my wife's tender love for our beautiful little Seamus.

U2 - Sweetest Thing: Speaking of sweetest things... First let me say that every U2 song reminds me of Lisa. Lisa loves U2...I mean she really LOVES U2. When Sweetest Thing got re-released, it was a U2 song that I'd never heard. Lisa of course knew it because it was a B side to "Where the Streets Have No Name" and she already knew and loved it. What a great song! A few years ago when Lisa got an opportunity to go to the U2 concert, I could not deny her. This year, the whole family sat in front of the TV (with the computer attached) to watch U2's concert in Pasadena live on YouTube. U2 makes Lisa happy...and that makes me happy!

U2 - Walk On: More U2. I think I could have listed every song on this album. It was a special album that really helped Lisa get through a difficult time. After Finn was born, Lisa suffered from post-partem depression. It broke my heart to see her like that, as if her soul itself had drained out of her. We had this beautiful, wonderful new baby and Lisa was not even able to enjoy him or his spunky older brother or anything else. Nothing seemed to lift her spirits or cheer her up...not even music! Fortunately, we got help and Lisa came back as vibrant and strong as ever. I knew she would be okay when I heard her blaring this song and singing at the tops of her lungs "You've got to leave it behind!" Thank you U2!


Ewan McGregor - Your Song: Another movie song. Have I mentioned that somewhere close behind Lisa's love for Music is her love for movies? She saw this movie when she went back to Pennsylvania without me. I had my two week reserve training at 29 Palms and Lisa took our boys back to visit my family. The pictures from that trip are some of my most treasured...I think they make me feel like I didn't have to miss the whole thing. When "Moulin Rouge" came out on DVD a few months later, Lisa immediately bought it and talked me into watching it. I thought I'd hate it...I could not have been more wrong. I loved the movie and I loved watching Ewan McGregor sing this Elton John classic. For months afterward, I mimicked his style of singing and would sing this song to Lisa. Still love this song and still think life is wonderful with Lisa in the world .

Led Zeppelin - Thank You: My time away from Lisa when I was in Iraq was not a happy time. It was the second time we had been separated for a long period of time, and she was left with a pretty tough situation. For months, Lisa was a single mom raising two young boys. She was the mama and the dadoo. The guilt that I felt over being gone was huge and I didn't want her to know just how badly I was feeling...it was stress she didn't need. I kept it bundled up somewhere deep inside me and didn't dare let it out. My therapy was putting on my headphones and listening to this song. It reassured me and strengthened me. If I could just get back to her, it didn't matter how backwards the world had become. Mountains could tumble to the sea and it wouldn't matter as long as I had Lisa. She was (and is) my happiness. Towards the end of the deployment, I mentioned this song to Lisa in a letter. It was only a passing reference though. I still don't think she knows how much it meant to me and how much it made me thank God for her. She has makes this crazy life worth living for me and for that I am eternally grateful.

Tim McGraw - My Best Friend: Those who know me, know that I love the movie "Tombstone". At the end of the movie Doc Holliday is laying in bed dying from tuberculosis and Wyatt Earp come to visit. Doc says to Wyatt "You are my friend." When Wyatt replies that he has lots of friends, Doc replies "I don't." Like Doc, I don't have a lot of friends and I dearly cherish the ones I've got. Since I met Lisa in 1995, there have not been many circumstances where I've had too many friends around. She has been my best friend, my partner, my biggest fan, and my lover. In this song, Tim McGraw captured every thing I feel about Lisa. I honestly don't know where I'd be without her.

Queen - You're My Best Friend: Speaking of best friend songs, how could I not take a minute to mention Queen. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard how awesome Freddy Mercury is, I'd be able to retire right now. Lisa adores him and I know it really makes her sad to think that he is gone. I could have picked any number of Queen classics for this list, but this one always makes me think about Lisa. As I said about the last song, Lisa is truly and completely my best friend.

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done: Okay I have to admit that I HATE this song. It's got a great beat, but I think that the chorus is simply stupid. You know: "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier." What does soul have to do with soldier? Don't ask me. Anyway, Lisa loves this song. When it first came out, she would sing it and pump her arms wildly while dancing and singing at the top of her lungs. All the while looking at me to see if I would respond. Very funny stuff. She doesn't understand my dislike of the song and likes to tease me with it. I'm pretty certain that the more I state my dislike, the more that she insists...that's my baby!

Brandston - Earthquakes and Sharks: This song is all about "Mexico and California!" How fitting for us: Lisa is the Mexican girl raised in So Cal and I'm the gringo who has completed adopted the lifestyle of both places. We've been to Mexico a LOT including about four vacations and our honeymoon. Lisa immediately picked this one up after hearing it. I think that the combination of references about the climate (earthquakes, "ain't no shade, ain't no trees", heat, polluted air) and familiar places (San Diego, Mission Beach, Mexico) and the local fauna (black widows, killer bees, sharks, black bears) make this a fun song for Lisa. It feels pretty cool to hear a song about the place you live. Of course, my personal favorite is the Chupacabra reference...they're real you know!

Rihanna - Umbrella: Ahhh Italy. In 2007, I asked Lisa where she wanted to go for our tenth anniversary. She chose Italy (yet another case where I am the benefactor of my wife's excellent judgment) and we set off for two of the best weeks of our life. We saw Rome and Florence and Venice. We sipped drinks in a cafe in a small Tuscan village. We saw art and history and ate some of the best food ever. We drank a little wine too. It was simply a fantastic time. When we were in Rome, we stayed in a quaint B&B close to the Vatican. Every morning, we would tune the TV to MTV (some Euro version that actually still plays music videos...what a novel idea). This song was on EVERY morning and we both began to associate it with our time in Italy. Now I cannot hear it without thinking of what a wonderfully romantic time we had. Tu sei il sole del mio giorno!



Led Zeppelin - Hey Hey What Can I Do: I'm the Led Zeppelin fan in the family. I could listen to Zep almost exclusively and not get tired of them. Lisa is certainly a fan also though. A couple years ago, she told me that she really wanted this song. I've got a pretty nice selection, but this is one you simply can't get at iTunes...or anywhere else. It was a B-side of Immigrant Song back in 1970 and has only been featured on obscure box sets. For weeks, I drove all over San Diego county scouring old record stores. I also looked online in every place imaginable...no joy. At the point of despair, I decided it was time to take extreme measures. Since I couldn't buy this song, I had to "share" it from a friend...anything to make Lisa happy.

AC/DC - If You Want Blood: I know what you're thinking. How does any AC/DC song (let alone this one) make its way onto this list? I already mentioned that Lisa loves movies. She really loves a good comedy. When she was pregnant with Seamus, we went to see "Something About Mary" and she laughed so hard I was afraid she'd go into labor. My baby is pretty easily amused. A year or two ago we decided to give "Dukes of Hazzard" a shot. Knowing how much Lisa enjoys Jackass on MTV, I'm guessing that Johnny Knoxville being one of the leads helped her along. In any case, we both loved it. This song was in the movie and afterwards, I found Lisa searching around in my music looking for AC/DC. She found what she was looking for and for months I heard this song blaring in the car, in the house, and in her scrap room. We even took the boys to see AC/DC in concert (and of course they didn't even play this song!). Yes...she's crazy...and I LOVE EVERY bit of it.

Ray LaMontagne - You Are the Best Thing: Last year, Lisa told me that she had arranged for her friend Tara to come and take pictures of us. Tara is a professional photographer and has taken pics of us several times (always for free…thanks Tara!). They are always great pictures and many of them hang in our hall. Lisa is no slouch with the camera and takes terrific photos. The best thing about Tara's photos is that Lisa is in them too! In any case, Tara was exploring a new business opportunity with a colleague who is a videographer and she wanted to film and photograph the McGarveys as a proof of concept. To better explain the concept to me, Lisa showed me the first video that had been done with Tara's friend Emily and her family. It was a great video. Emily and her husband have two girls and the music in the background was light and soulful. I told Lisa that it looked great, but I couldn't see a video of our family set to Sara McLaughlin! We had our film / photo shoot on a Friday afternoon last Spring. A few weeks later, Lisa showed me our video (and the pictures). It was set to this song…one that I had honestly never heard. It was perfect. It fit so well with our craziness while still capturing the love in our family. I think we've all (including the kids) have watched this thing at least a hundred times. Every time I see it, I laugh and I cry. Lisa you really are the best thing to ever happen to me. Happy Birthday!