First Day Of School = No pictures

Yeah... you read that title right. I didnt get any 1st day of school pictures. Its kind of sad. I'll fully admit that. But you know what? Im over it. Im going to start a new tradition that fits better with our family dynamic. Its called 2nd day of school pictures. Hell... it might be first WEEK of school pictures when all is said and done.

See, this is the thing: there is usually a lot of crazy emotions going on for the first day of school. Anxiousness. Anticipation. Excitement. Nervousness. And its not just the kids - its me too! Add rollercoaster emotions to the general running around/getting up early/finding our morning routine and we're looking at a morning of high expectations and potential problems. I dont want that, certainly not on the first day of school. Our new pastor at St. Francis just had this wonderful message to us in the bulletin this week. He talked about learning to let go of some of our expectations and instead to enjoy what the Lord has presented in front of us. I know its totally out of place to hear me talking about religious stuff, but I had to admit that Fr. Bud seemed to be talking about me when he wrote that sermon. I have some issues in managing my expectations. Not 24 hours after reading his message on Sunday, I was tested.

Segue to this morning: Finn was up at 5am. Yep. You read that correct. Finn is an early riser, but not normally that early. Im going to call this phenomena "nervous excitement." As much as Matt and I hoped he would fall back asleep, once Finn was up he wasnt going back to bed. He was also talking a lot - talking a mile a minute. Talking about really random stuff like... oh heck, I cant even remember right now. It was random. In all honestly, I think he was just ready to get the day going. He knew it was his first day and he was anxious to get it going. Seamus' morning was different than Finn's. He got up much later and after his shower he seemed, how do I put this, in a piss poor mood. As he sat on the couch this morning I was struck at how much like a teenager he was acting: lethargic, annoyed and with a mocking tone that didnt sit well with me.

Then the drama began. Both Seamus and Finn take medication for their ADHD through a patch that is applied to their hip/buttock area. The medication takes up to 2-3 hours to absorb into their blood stream so we apply it to their bodies when they are sleeping. This medication has proven fantastic for Seamus, but Finn's skin often gets irritated where we position the patch. We have to be careful to alternate where we apply it so that his skin doesnt get inflamed. This morning Finn was complaining about the patch - that it was itchy and stinging. This is not uncommon. When the patch is first applied, Finn usually says something about the itch and/or stinging. It usually goes away within the first 20 minutes, but it had been 1.5 hours since I first applied it. It should have been fine. I figured he was just over-exaggerating and asked him to focus on something else. Finn will often get fixated on the patch which seems to make the uncomfortableness feel worse. I could see him trying hard not to touch the area but he was having a hard time. Then he started tearing up.

"Mama it stings. Can I take it off?"

"No Finn. You can not take it off. Its the first day of school. This is the whole purpose of wearing the patch: for school."

"But its hurting. Its really hurting."

After that, Finn began to cry and my anxiety started to climb. I couldnt let him go to school without the patch. That was out of the question. The medication would be in him full force any minute and I didnt want to waste the patch he had by replacing it with another. To add to my frustration, Seamus began belittling his brother around this time - calling him a "baby" and telling him to "stop whining" because he couldnt hear the tv. That was totally not what Finn or I needed. I could feel my body tense up. I could feel my frustration starting to boil. After snapping at Seamus to leave him alone, I decided to look at the patch and see what was going on. Was it as bad as Finn was making it out to be?

It was. It was bad. In my morning haze, I put the patch in the exact same spot where Finn's skin was already irritated. The area looked very inflamed and raw. Crap! I felt so horrible for not believing in him sooner. What the heck was wrong with me? Why hadnt I just looked at it before and switched it sooner? We went to the bathroom, removed the patch and put some ointment on it. That seemed to soothe the area and Finn was relieved. Then I applied a new patch to his other hip that was not irritated. I gave Finn a big hug, told him I was so sorry and promised I woudlnt make that mistake again. Finn seemed pleased with that and the tears stopped.

That's when I noticed the time. We were going to be late. I hadnt taken any pictures up to that point and as I looked at Finn's little bloated face I decided the pictures werent necessary. I could take pictures tomorrow or the day after or next week. It wasnt important at that minute. I didnt mention anything to the boys and we walked out the door a few minutes later than I had wanted.

As we were sitting at a light on our way to school, Seamus said "You forgot to take our pictures today, Mama." I told him it was fine, that I didnt forget. I told him I wanted to start a new tradition of taking pictures on the second day of school instead of the first. He groaned - a reaction that made me smile, actually.

Once we were at school, everything went smoothly. There were no tears and no weary goodbyes. Seamus found his classmates right away and was off without looking backwards. He is definitely exhibiting middle school tendencies (ie - independence,) but I was grateful he found himself right back in the swing of things. Finn hurried straight to his class with me lagging slightly behind. He only looked at me with worry once and it was when the teacher mentioned his snack. I had forgotten it. I mouthed to him Id get it to him and not to worry. Then I smiled, said goodbye and left him in class.

It was a rocky start, but it ended up better than I had expected. Oops. There's that word again. Expectations. So what if our first day wasnt what I had planned or imagined. So what if we were a little bit late and I forgot the snacks. So what if I dont have pictures. My kids got off to school in good spirits with no tears. For that I am sooooooo grateful. My expectations for the day were modified and you know what: its all good. :)

Happy Monday, everyone.